Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the millions number of jobs in different economy sectors of US including, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, multiple fluctuations have been recorded in the number of workforce over the time period of 60 years. However, the most striking rise occured in the sector of healthcare, while the number of jobs in agricultural sector dropped consistently, reaching to the lowest contribution by 2020.

Initiating with healthcare and retail, both of these two sectors rose their employment rates with passing years. The healthcare sector initiated with 1 million jobs in 1970, increased repidly and ended up with 15 million in 2020. Similarly, the retail stood at the same number as that of healthcare by 2020.

In contrast, agriculture and manufacturing markets dropped in the number of jobs offered contributing least to the national economy. However, the manufacturing jobs steeped over 20 million in 980 but reduced back to 13 million in 2020. In addition, the agriculture reduced to 3 million by 1980 and stayed consistent over time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: healthcare rises markedly, while agriculture declines, and you include several figures for manufacturing and agriculture. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. Healthcare begins at about 2 million in 1960, not 1 million in 1970, and reaches roughly 16 million in 2020. Retail rises from 6 million to about 16 million, rather than being described through its intermediate trend. Manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980, not “over 20 million,” and agriculture falls further to about 2 million by 2020, which is omitted. The overview also says there were “multiple fluctuations” without clearly distinguishing the sectors’ overall patterns. More accurate figures and a fuller comparison of the four trends would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining sectors. This gives the reader a generally logical route through the information. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Similarly,” and “In contrast” help signal relationships, and the main comparisons are easy to follow. To make the progression more precise, ensure each paragraph develops its stated comparison consistently: the healthcare and retail paragraph gives little detail about retail’s rise, while the final paragraph groups manufacturing with agriculture even though manufacturing first increases before declining. Some phrasing, such as “Initiating with,” also makes transitions feel less natural. Clearer grouping by trend and more explicit comparisons would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “fluctuations,” “sector,” “employment rates,” “increased rapidly,” and “reduced.” These choices allow you to describe changes and compare categories, although some attempts at less common or formal expressions are inaccurate or unnatural. For example, “the millions number of jobs” is an awkward way to introduce the unit, and “contribution” does not precisely describe the number of jobs. “Steeped over 20 million” is also an unsuitable expression for a rise, while “markets dropped in the number of jobs offered” is unclear. Spelling slips such as “occured” and “repidly” are noticeable. Prefer standard chart language and check spelling to improve precision and naturalness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “while” and the comparison “Similarly, the retail stood…”. Most sentences communicate the intended trend, but some grammatical errors and awkward constructions remain. In “both of these two sectors rose their employment rates,” the verb pattern is incorrect; use “employment in both sectors rose.” The phrase “reaching to the lowest contribution” has an unnecessary preposition, and “the agriculture reduced” needs a more suitable subject and verb construction, such as “employment in agriculture fell.” There are also tense and article issues in “the healthcare sector initiated with 1 million jobs in 1970.” More consistent past-tense reporting and accurate sentence patterns would improve control.

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