Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph displays the information about the number of jobs in four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) economy in the US, from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Retail and Healthcare sector increased gradually, the initially, Manufacturing sector started off with highest number but over the period it experienced rapid decline.

Both the Retailuring and Healthcare sector experienced an upward trend. In 1960, msretailuring sector began at around 6 million and healthcare sector was at around 3 million. From 1960 to 1980, both the sector increased at the same rate, figuring around 10 million and 5 million respectively. There was a significant rose in the figures, reaching upto 15 million in the Retailacturing sector and around 12 million in the Healthcare sector upto 2000. From 2000 to 2020 both the sectors began to converge, umarked upto 17 million, which is by far the highest sector.

Conversely, Manufacturing and Agriculture sector experienced a downward trend. Initially manufacturing sector started off as the highest sector in 1960, at 15 million before it reached the peak point at 20 million. There was a sharp decline in the number in 2000, around 17 million, finally accounted for around 12 million in the end.

Similarly Agriculture industry began at around 5 million in 1960. It dropped to around 2 million in 1980 and stayed constant the following year before falling slightly to around 1 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad movements: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, and you include several relevant figures. The manufacturing peak and subsequent fall are reported clearly. However, some details are inaccurate: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million; retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, rather than 17 million; and agriculture ends at about 2 million, not 1 million. The overview also says manufacturing experienced a “rapid decline,” although it first rose to a peak before falling. Your account addresses the graph, but the comparison of the two rising sectors and the final ranking could be clearer and more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining sectors. This grouping helps the reader follow the main trends, and transitions such as “Conversely” and “Similarly” signal comparisons. The progression is not consistently smooth, however. The overview’s claim that manufacturing declined overlooks its initial rise, and the sentence beginning “There was a significant rose” is difficult to interpret, interrupting the account of the rising sectors. Phrases such as “both the sectors” and “the following year” also leave references unclear. To strengthen the flow, use precise links between each year and figure, and make sure the overview accurately previews the details that follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant graph vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “downward trend,” “peak point,” “sharp decline,” and “converge.” However, control of word choice and collocation is uneven, and several malformed expressions make the data harder to understand. “Retailuring,” “msretailuring,” and “Retailacturing” appear to be accidental blends of sector names; “significant rose” should be “significant rise,” and “figuring around” is not a natural way to report a value. “Finally accounted for” is also an awkward choice when describing the final figure. Use the sector names consistently and favour standard reporting phrases such as “stood at,” “rose to,” and “fell to” to make comparisons precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including time clauses such as “before it reached the peak point” and contrastive structures beginning “Conversely.” Most of the main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “Overall, Retail and Healthcare sector increased gradually, the initially” has faulty agreement and an incomplete clause, while “both the sector increased” should use a plural noun and verb. Articles and number agreement are also inconsistent in “Manufacturing and Agriculture sector.” In “stayed constant the following year,” the time reference is unclear because the graph uses 20-year intervals. Check sentence boundaries, subject–verb agreement, and articles, and use complete, clearly linked clauses when describing changes over time.

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