Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US, from [redacted phone].

In this given chart, the number of years are mentioned on x-axis, where as jobs in millions are mentioned on y-axis. The manufacturing line shows that there were 15 million jobs in 1960, which increased a little and reached to 20 million in 1980, furthermore, it decreased afterwards till 2020. However, jobs in retail sector started with 6 million and gradually increased by 16 million. Furthermore, healthcare sector took start from 6 million and decreased to 3 million by the year 2020. Moreover, the agriculture sector showed gradual growth from 3 million to 16 million from 1960 to 2020. In conclusion, two of the sectors (healthcare and retail) had shown great growth in the economy of US, where as other two sectors ( manufacturing and agricultural) had shown lack of economical growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the four sectors and attempts to describe their changes, but several key trends and figures are substantially misreported. Healthcare begins at about 2 million and rises to 16 million, not from 6 million down to 3 million; agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than growing to 16 million. Retail rises from 6 to about 16 million, while manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before declining to 13 million. These errors make the concluding comparison unreliable, and there is no accurate overview of the main pattern. The response also contains 139 words, 11 below the required minimum; 11 words copied from the task prompt were excluded from the count. Check each series against the graph before summarising.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph, describes sectors, and ends with a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Furthermore,” and “Moreover” show an attempt to connect points. However, the information is not grouped or ordered consistently: manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture are discussed in succession, but the descriptions do not establish a clear comparison or overall progression. Some connectors are also used mechanically, and “In conclusion” introduces a summary that repeats the earlier claims rather than drawing together accurate trends. Use a separate overview paragraph, then group related rising and falling sectors, and use comparisons such as “while” or “by contrast” to make relationships clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to identify the chart and its categories, with relevant terms such as “jobs in millions,” “increased,” “decreased,” and “gradually.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are awkward or imprecise, including “reached to 20 million,” “took start from,” and “lack of economical growth.” Repetition of “sector” and “growth” also reduces precision, particularly because the chart shows job numbers rather than economic growth itself. Choose standard graph-description collocations and distinguish a rise or fall in employment from broader economic performance. More precise verbs and phrases would make the account clearer without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses both simple statements and some longer sentences joined with clauses, for example, “The manufacturing line shows that there were 15 million jobs in 1960, which increased…” This demonstrates an attempt at varied sentence forms, and the main meaning is generally recoverable. However, grammatical control is uneven. The opening has “in US” rather than “in the US,” and “where as” is incorrectly separated. In “reached to 20 million,” the verb pattern is faulty; “increased by 16 million” also does not clearly express the intended final figure. Tense and agreement are inconsistent in “had shown” and “the number of years are mentioned.” Practise accurate verb patterns, articles, and consistent past-tense reporting, and proofread punctuation and spacing.

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