Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph below illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in united states from 1960 to 2020

overall,manufacturing soared in 1980 it then plummeted in 2020,while retail climed from 1980 and slowly rose up to 2020. Whereas,healthcare fluctuated slightly in everyear compared to agriculture had sudden rose up every year .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify the chart’s subject and period, and you attempt to summarise trends across the sectors. However, the overview contains major inaccuracies: manufacturing peaked in 1980 and then declined, but retail did not rise only slowly after 1980; it increased from about 10 to 15 million by 2000 and then edged up. Healthcare rose steadily rather than fluctuating, while agriculture declined rather than rising. No supporting figures are given, so the main comparisons are not established. The response is also only 44 words, well below the required 150, and is therefore substantially incomplete. To improve, write a clear overview and report key figures and changes for all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence introduces the graph, followed by an overview beginning with “overall”. The contrast marker “while” also signals a comparison. However, the response is extremely brief and does not develop a clear sequence of details or separate the overview from supporting information. The sentence beginning “Whereas” is not a complete sentence, and the links between the sector trends are difficult to follow, particularly in “compared to agriculture had sudden rose up”. Use a clear paragraph structure—introduction, overview, and one or two detail paragraphs—and connect comparisons with accurate, simple linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “soared”, “plummeted”, “fluctuated” and “rose”. These choices show an attempt to vary language rather than repeat “increased” throughout. However, several words are inaccurate for the data or the intended meaning: healthcare did not “fluctuate”, and agriculture did not “rose up”. “Climed” is misspelled, while “sudden rose” uses an incorrect form and collocation. The phrase “number of jobs in four sectors” is relevant but the response offers little range for describing comparisons or amounts. Choose trend verbs that match the graph, and use precise phrases such as “rose steadily” or “fell gradually” alongside figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to combine ideas in a longer sentence using “while” and “whereas”, and the opening sentence communicates the general topic. However, grammatical control is uneven. The second sentence joins several clauses without clear punctuation, and “Whereas, healthcare fluctuated…” is a fragment because “whereas” introduces a dependent contrast clause. The phrase “compared to agriculture had…” also lacks a grammatical connection between the comparison and the following clause. Capitalisation and spacing are inconsistent, as in “overall,manufacturing”, and the opening needs an article and more accurate sentence framing. Practise writing complete, clearly punctuated sentences, using one main comparison per sentence before attempting longer structures.

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