Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The grapth compares the amount of jobs in sectors of the economy in United states from 1960 and 2020.

In 1960, approximately 6 million jobs are available in retail sector then it surged to 15 million in 2000. The healthcare sector also increased over the period it first start around 2 million jobs in first year then reached at about 16 million in 2020 same as retail sector. The retail sector made a great increase in the US economy over the period.

The other two famous sector is manufacturing and agriculture in US economy from 1960 to 2020. The manufacturing sector was top of table in 1960 around 15 million jobs are available. In 1980 it peaked at 20 million then dramatically decreased over the period and stoped at around 13 million in 2020. The agriculture sector started around 6 million jobs then it slightly decreased around 3 million in 1980 and finished abour 2 million jobs in 2020, it is the lowest job sector in US economy among all these sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns: manufacturing is the largest sector at the start, healthcare rises substantially, and agriculture declines to the lowest level. However, some key details are inaccurate or incomplete. Retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million in 2000; 15 million is its approximate figure for 2000. You also say retail and healthcare are both at about 16 million in 2020, which is accurate, but the overview would be clearer if it explicitly summarised this convergence and the contrasting long-term trends. The manufacturing peak and agriculture decline are relevant, though retail’s steady rise and healthcare’s strong growth could be compared more precisely. These omissions and the misreported retail endpoint limit how fully the main features are covered.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: the first body paragraph discusses retail and healthcare, while the second covers manufacturing and agriculture. This grouping helps the reader follow the four series, and phrases such as “over the period” and “then” signal change. However, there is no distinct overview that brings the main trends together, so the progression from description to the most important comparisons is not fully clear. Some links are also repetitive or imprecise, including repeated use of “then” and “over the period.” The opening sentence functions as an introduction, but a concise overview after it would make the organisation more purposeful and help distinguish the central patterns from individual figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of trend vocabulary, including “surged,” “peaked,” “decreased,” and “slightly decreased,” and the meaning is generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. “Amount of jobs” would be better expressed as “number of jobs,” and “famous sector” does not convey the intended meaning; “other two sectors” is appropriate. “Stoped at” is an unsuitable way to describe the final figure, while “jobs are available” is less precise than saying the sector “employed” a number of people. Spelling errors such as “grapth,” “stoped,” and “abour” are noticeable. More accurate, varied reporting language would improve precision and fluency.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate the broad trends using both simple sentences and some longer structures, for example, “The healthcare sector also increased over the period…” However, grammatical errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the description awkward. In “from 1960 and 2020,” the time range needs “to,” and “it first start” has an incorrect verb form. Several clauses lack a clear grammatical connection, as in “The manufacturing sector was top of table in 1960 around 15 million jobs are available.” There are also agreement and article problems in “The other two famous sector is…” and “in first year.” Practise forming accurate past-tense sentences and joining clauses with appropriate punctuation or conjunctions; this will make the data easier to follow.

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