Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This line-graph dipicts the information about the job rates in the four differenet departments of the economy between the interval of 1960 and 2020 in the US

Overall, it illustrates that manufacturing as well as agriculture experienced the drop in the jobs,in addition healthcare and retail faced the dramatic rise in its job rates from 1960 to 2020

In case of healthcare and retail the job rate rises dramatically in the span of 1960 to 2000 from approximately 2.5 and 6 millions to 11 and 15 milions respectively.Afterwards the progress had made by both sectors in such way that they jumped from here to an equal point that was about 16 miliions spot in 2020.

Considering the trend of manufacturing and agriculture,the manufacturing increased steadily and reached the spot of 20 millions in 1980 and then droped from that mark of 20 and reached 13 millions approximately whille,in the case of agriculture started from 6 milions figure mark in 1960 and falls progressively to the mark of about 2.5 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast accurately: manufacturing and agriculture decline over the period, while retail and healthcare rise. You also select several key figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the two rising sectors reaching about 16 million in 2020. This gives the report a clear, relevant overview and supports the main trends. To make the account more complete, clarify that retail continues to rise slightly after 2000, whereas healthcare rises more sharply to meet it; your phrase “the progress had made” does not make this distinction clear. The agriculture figures are broadly accurate, but the manufacturing description would benefit from stating its 1960 starting point as well as its later decline. Overall, the main features are covered, though some comparisons are less fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a sensible four-part structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for the rising and declining sectors. This makes the main progression easy to follow, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Considering the trend” help signal shifts in focus. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Afterwards the progress had made by both sectors in such way” does not clearly explain what happens after 2000, and the final sentence joins two sector descriptions with a comma and “while,” making the relationship awkward. Use clearer linking and reference, and keep each comparison within a well-formed sentence. The organisation is coherent overall, but cohesion is not consistently smooth.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “experienced the drop,” “rises dramatically,” “increased steadily,” and “falls progressively.” These choices show an attempt to vary language rather than repeat only “go up” and “go down.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “job rates” for the number of jobs, “the progress had made,” and “reached the … spot.” Spelling errors are also noticeable, including “dipicts,” “differenet,” “milions,” and “miliions.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the main message, but they reduce precision and control. Prefer standard chart language such as “employment,” “the number of jobs,” “rose to,” and “fell to,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast between sectors and a time sequence marked by “Afterwards.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors make individual sentences awkward. For example, “the job rate rises” shifts into the present tense while the report describes past data, and “the progress had made by both sectors” has an incorrect verb construction. In “the manufacturing increased steadily and reached … and then droped,” the verb forms are not consistently controlled. Punctuation also needs attention: the opening sentence lacks a full stop, and several clauses are joined with commas without clear sentence boundaries. Use consistent past-tense verbs and check clause structure and punctuation.

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