Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates regarding the number of jobs in four different sectors of the ecnomy in the America from 1960 to 2020. Overall, it is clear that Retail and Healthcare were increasing over the period, while other two sectors decliine during the same period.
In 1960, Manufacturing sector far high then other sectors around 15 millions,while In 1980, this sector was increase 20 millions, after that started to decreasing. Agriculture departments started at above 5 millions jobs in the same year (1960), however stop at 2 millions jobs In 2020.
Retail and Healthcare departments were began aroun 6 millions and 2 millions jobs respectively, this two sectors increasing over the period. Both departments stoped at 16 millions. they risen about 10 to 17 millions jobs over the 60 year of period.
Overall, Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors were declining, However, Healthcare and Retails departments were rising during the same period,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the main overall contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture fall, and you include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching about 20 million in 1980 and agriculture ending at 2 million. This addresses the task and gives a generally accurate account. However, some key comparisons are unclear or inaccurate: manufacturing was still higher than retail and healthcare in 2000, and healthcare and retail both finish at about 16 million, rather than both simply “rising about 10 to 17 million.” The overview is also repeated at the end instead of using that space to clarify the relative positions and turning points. Develop the comparisons between sectors more precisely to make the summary more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an opening overview followed by details about manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare. This helps the reader follow the broad trends. However, progression is weakened by repeating the overview in the final paragraph, and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, “they risen about 10 to 17 millions” does not clearly identify which sector reached which figure. Connectors such as “however” and “after that” are used, but the relationships between the data points are not always expressed accurately. Organise the body around clear comparisons across the years, and use pronouns only when their reference is unmistakable.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increasing,” “declining,” and “started,” and the sector names make the subject clear. However, the range and control are limited by repeated general terms and several inaccurate or misspelled choices, including “ecnony,” “decliine,” “aroun,” and “stoped.” Some phrases are also unnatural for chart description, such as “departments stoped at 16 millions” and “far high then.” These choices sometimes make the intended comparison harder to understand. Build a more precise set of trend and comparison expressions, and check spelling and collocations so that the vocabulary communicates the data naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “while” and a clause introduced by “however.” Nevertheless, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur often enough to affect clarity. Examples include “this sector was increase,” “this two sectors increasing,” and “they risen”; these need forms such as “the sector increased,” “these two sectors increased,” and “they rose.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “while In 1980” and the comma spacing in “millions,while.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and complete sentence patterns, while retaining the useful variety of clauses you attempt.
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