Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

the bar chart show the data about the number of jobs in four sctors of the economy in the america between 1960 to 2020

in 1960, manufacturing jobs dramatically up15 to 20 millions and slightly down in 2020. and retail dramatic up through 2000 5 to 15 and sligly up

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the topic and reports some relevant trends, including manufacturing rising to 20 million in 1980 and retail increasing towards 2000. However, it is far too incomplete to summarise the graph: there is no clear overview, and healthcare and agriculture are not discussed. Some details are also inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing peaked in 1980 and then fell to about 13 million by 2020, rather than merely “slightly down”; retail rose from about 6 million in 1960, not 5, and reached 16 million in 2020. The response is 50 words, below the required 150. Include an overview and compare all four sectors, selecting key figures and changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic sequence from the opening identification of the chart to details about manufacturing and retail, so the reader can recognise the intended subject. However, the response is only two lines and does not develop a clear overall progression or group the information into a complete summary. The second sentence combines several trends with “and,” making the relationships between the figures difficult to follow; “and retail dramatic up through 2000” is especially unclear. Use separate, complete sentences and organise the report into an introduction, an overview, and detail paragraphs that compare related sectors. Clear links such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile” would help show how the trends relate.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “jobs,” and “dramatically,” which shows some awareness of the graph’s subject and trend language. However, the vocabulary is limited and several choices or spellings reduce clarity: “bar chart” does not accurately describe the line graph, “sctors” is misspelled, and “dramatic up” is not a natural way to describe a rise. “Slightly down” is also imprecise for the substantial fall in manufacturing after 1980. Build a more accurate range for describing line graphs, including “rose,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response attempts to connect information in longer sentences, but grammatical control is weak and the sentence structures are very limited. In “the bar chart show,” the subject and verb do not agree; “in the america between 1960 to 2020” also has problems with articles and prepositions. The phrase “manufacturing jobs dramatically up15 to 20 millions” lacks a correctly formed verb, while “and retail dramatic up” is not a complete clause. These errors make parts of the report difficult to interpret. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, for example, “Manufacturing employment rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980.” Use consistent past-tense forms when describing the period.

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