Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrate how employment in four industries in the US changed from [redacted phone].Overall, it is clear that retail and healthcare industries grew steadily. In contrast, agriculture jobs dropped over the decades.

It is clear from the data, manufacturing was the leading sector in 1960 with 15 million jobs and reached its maximun in 1980 with 20 million jobs but it showed a steady downward trend by 2020. Meanwhile, agriculture sector started at 6 million jobs in 1960 and showed constant moment till 2000 but fell by 2020 to its lowest point.

It is intresting to note that, the retail sector started at 6 million jobs in 1960 and it showed a constant rise till 2020 with 15 million jobs. Meanwhile, healthcare sector started at 2 million jobs and showed rapid raise from 1960 to 2020 with 15 million jobs. Both the health care and retail industries showed significant change over the decades

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks before declining, agriculture falls overall, and retail and healthcare rise. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, some key comparisons are incomplete or inaccurate. Retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15, and healthcare also ends at about 16 million, rather than 15. The overview would be stronger if it stated that retail and healthcare finish jointly highest, while agriculture is lowest, and if it noted that manufacturing leads in 1960 and 1980 but is overtaken later. The description of agriculture as showing “constant moment” until 2000 is unclear and does not accurately convey its fall from 6 to 3 million by 1980, followed by stability.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by two paragraphs describing the sectors. This makes the main information easy to locate, and linking expressions such as “In contrast” and “Meanwhile” help signal comparisons. However, the progression within the body paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with “It is clear” and “Meanwhile” repeated, and the final sentence repeats the general point that both sectors changed without adding a useful comparison. Some connections between details are also unclear, particularly the agriculture sentence. To improve, group related trends more deliberately and use the final comparison to explain that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs by 2020.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of trend vocabulary, including “leading sector,” “downward trend,” “constant rise,” and “rapid raise,” so the reader can generally understand the changes being described. However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision. “Constant moment” does not express the intended trend, and “rapid raise” is not the natural phrase for an increase in employment; use “rapid rise” or “rose rapidly.” “Maximun” and “intresting” are misspelled, while “significant change” is vague when describing the two sectors. Aim for accurate, conventional language for graph descriptions and check spelling, especially in key trend terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including contrast clauses such as “In contrast, agriculture jobs dropped” and a relative clause in “manufacturing was the leading sector … and reached its maximum.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. The opening needs subject–verb agreement and an article: “The line graph illustrates…”. In “It is clear from the data, manufacturing…”, the introductory clause needs “that” or suitable punctuation. There are also missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent comma use, as in “It is interesting to note that, the retail sector…”. More careful sentence boundaries and punctuation would make the response smoother and more accurate.

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