Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph present the number of employment in four diffrent categories of the economy in the United status from 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing section has a highest money maker than any other in satrting. On opposite, Healthcare was the lowst in starting period but in the ended year it was one of the growing categories. Although agriculture was the only department which economyical growth was fell over the years. Retail has ross in every two decads.

In term of increased categories, reaties and healthacre peaked at same number in 2020. In 1960, healthacre was the catecories who produced lower income which were arround halved of 5 millions, but every 2 decedes it was revanue more and more in 2020 ended with arounded 15 jobs in millions. Retails was another categories of jobs which is stared with approximetly 5 millions and rapidelpy grow until 2020 it was generate over 15 millions in jobs.

On other side Manufacturing between 1960 to 1980 was growing in jobs categories but conctant fell in over the years in 2020 it were belowed to 14 million. While in agriculture, opportunites in jobs in 1960 was over 5 million which was the similar to retails. In 1980 to 2000, there was stedy and during 2020 the fighre was slidly decresed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing starts as the largest sector, healthcare grows substantially, and agriculture declines. You also compare retail and healthcare at the end, which is a relevant feature. Most reported figures and trends broadly match the graph, including manufacturing’s rise to 1980 followed by decline and agriculture’s fall. However, the overview is sometimes unclear: “highest money maker” describes earnings rather than job numbers, and “one of the growing categories” does not clearly state that healthcare reaches about 16 million. Some details are imprecise, such as saying retail rose “in every two decades” without giving its approximate values. Focus consistently on jobs, and make the overview’s key comparisons more explicit and accurate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs comparing sectors. The grouping of rising sectors and declining sectors gives the report a generally coherent arrangement, and phrases such as “On other side” signal a contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because ideas are joined in long, loosely controlled sentences. For example, the healthcare sentence moves from its starting point through each period to the final figure without clear punctuation or staging. Some linking phrases are also mechanical or unclear, including “In term of increased categories” and “While in agriculture.” Use clearer topic sentences and separate the trends into shorter, logically ordered comparisons; this would make the relationships between figures easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary suited to describing trends, including “peaked,” “steady,” “rapidly grow,” and “decreased,” and the reader can usually infer the intended meaning. However, word choice and spelling errors are frequent enough to make several descriptions unclear or unnatural. “Highest money maker” is not appropriate for a graph of employment, while “revenue” and “income” incorrectly shift the focus from jobs to earnings. There are also many misspellings, such as “healthacre,” “decads,” and “approximetly,” and awkward combinations such as “economical growth was fell.” Build a reliable set of trend verbs and sector-related terms, and check spelling and collocations carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at more complex sentences, including contrasts introduced by “Although” and “While.” The main trends are often understandable, but grammatical control is uneven. For example, “The line graph present” has subject–verb disagreement, and “Manufacturing section has a highest” has problems with the article and sentence structure. Verb forms are also inaccurate in “economical growth was fell” and “Retail has ross,” while several sentences lack clear punctuation, making clauses run together. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and agreement, and use shorter sentences when describing changes across several dates. More consistently controlled sentence patterns would make your comparisons clearer.

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