Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this graph, we have time duration in x-axis and we have jobs in millions in y-axis. Now, the graph shows 4 lines, each line is specified for a certain job. First of all, we have manufacturing job, the graph shows that the ratio of job increase from 1960 to 1980 and in 1980s, we have maximum numbers of jobs in this field amoung the others, after 1980s, we see a decline in jobs in this field. Then we have Retail job in 60s, the number of job for this field were less than manufacturing, but as the time passes, the jobs in this srector increses and now its at highest. After that we have agriculture sector, jobs ratio in this sector had incresed a lot as it shoe maximum deflection. At he end we have healthcare jobs, the number of this sector job decrese as the time passes. So by this graph we got to know that the jobs increased a lot in agriculture sector and decrese drastically in healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies all four sectors and attempts to describe their changes, but several central trends are misreported, which makes the account only minimally successful as a summary. Most importantly, agriculture did not increase: it fell from about 6 million jobs to 2 million, despite the claim that it “had incresed a lot.” Healthcare rose from roughly 2 million to 16 million, rather than decreasing, and the conclusion repeats both errors. You correctly note that manufacturing peaked around 1980 before declining, and that retail rose over time to become one of the largest sectors. To improve, give a clear overview of the main contrasts and check each trend against the graph before describing it; include a few accurate figures to support the comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a recognisable sequence, moving through manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, and uses signposts such as “First of all,” “Then,” and “At the end.” This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, the ideas are presented as one continuous paragraph, and the repeated “we have” structure makes the progression mechanical. The final sentence also restates the two incorrect trends rather than drawing together the graph’s actual main features. Grouping the information into an introduction, an overview and detail paragraphs would make the organisation clearer. Use comparisons to connect related sectors—for example, the rise in retail and healthcare against the decline in agriculture—rather than relying mainly on a list of sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to identify the chart’s subject and describe basic movement, with terms such as “decline,” “maximum,” and “sector.” However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing data. “Ratio of job” is not an appropriate way to refer to the number of jobs, while “maximum deflection” does not describe the agriculture trend and obscures the intended meaning. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “amoung,” “srector,” “increses,” and “decrese.” These issues make parts of the account difficult to interpret. Use precise chart language such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentences, including clauses linked with “but” and “as,” and the reader can generally follow the intended sequence. However, the range is limited, and errors recur in sentence structure, agreement, articles and tense. For example, “we have time duration in x-axis” needs a more accurate grammatical construction, while “the number of job … were less” has a singular-plural mismatch. In “the number of this sector job decrese,” the noun phrase and verb form are not controlled. Several sentences also run together without clear punctuation. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then combine them with clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and consistent past-tense reporting.

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