Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates jobs present(in millions) in four sectors of the US economy : manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare. The data is represented from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, on interpreting the graph, healthcare and retail sectors have grown at a steady rate where as to the contrary agricultural and manufacutring sectors have declining job opportunities.

In 1960 both retail and agricultural jobs were somewhere over 5 million but over the years retail sector grew dramatically with over 15 million jobs in 2020 whereas, agriculture sector slowed down and after 60 years provides employment to less than 5 million people.

Manufacturing unit has highest level of opportunities with 15 million and attains its peak in 1980 with 20 million job opportunities but over the years fall is seen providing less than 15 million jobs. Healthcare sector grows at an impressive rate with starting from around 2 million jobs to over 15 million jobs in 6 decades

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify all four sectors and give a clear overview of the broad contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing falls after reaching a peak. The main figures are generally consistent with the graph, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and healthcare’s rise from about 2 million to above 15 million. To make the account more fully developed, report the key endpoint and comparison more precisely: by 2020, retail and healthcare are both about 16 million, while manufacturing is about 13 million and agriculture about 2 million. The claim that manufacturing has the highest level of opportunities is true only at the start and at its 1980 peak, so qualify it by period. Also avoid describing the rising sectors as growing steadily, since their rates differ.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall shape: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sector trends. The reader can follow the broad progression, and phrases such as “but over the years” help signal contrast. This meets the lower-band expectation of a coherent overall arrangement, with some evidence of more flexible organisation. However, cohesion is occasionally mechanical or unclear: “Overall, on interpreting the graph” is an awkward lead-in, and “where as to the contrary” makes the overview harder to process. The final paragraph also combines manufacturing and healthcare without a clear transition between them. Use simpler linking language and organise the details into clearer comparisons, such as grouping the two rising sectors together and then contrasting them with the declining ones.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “peak,” “declining,” “employment,” and “grew dramatically,” so the main trends are communicated. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “attains its peak” and “impressive rate.” However, some choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “jobs present,” “job opportunities,” and “agricultural jobs … slowed down” do not describe the data as accurately as “employment” or “the number of jobs.” “Manufacturing unit” is also an unsuitable label for a sector. Spelling errors such as “manufacutring” and “where as” further reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend vocabulary and check spelling and collocations before finishing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “but” and “whereas,” and the overall meaning remains understandable. Some sentences, however, contain grammatical problems that make the relationships between ideas less clear. For example, “Healthcare sector grows … with starting from around 2 million jobs” has an incomplete construction; write “The healthcare sector grew from around 2 million jobs.” In “Manufacturing unit has highest level … and attains its peak,” the article is missing and the tense shifts awkwardly when describing past data. The sentence beginning “In 1960 both retail and agricultural jobs…” also needs clearer punctuation around its contrast. Use past tense consistently for the historical period, and check articles, sentence boundaries, and clause structure.

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