Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Retail, healthcare and agriculture sectors were producing less amount of the job at the beginning unlike manufacturing sector. But at the end, we have seen the downfall of agriculture and manufacturing, whereas retail and healthcare had steady growth.

Between 1960 to 1980, we have seen the steady growth of manufacturing,retail and healthcare. Manufacturing get the highest peak at 1980 producing about 20 millions jobs, which is highest any sector produced from 1960 to 2020. But then we have seen the downfall of manufacturing. Whereas retail and agriculture grow steady after 1980 till the end. The most growing was healthcare sector, at the beginning it was the sector that was producing the lowest jobs.

Talking about agriculture sector, we have seen the downfall throughout the years, at beginning it started same like retailing. From 1980 to 2000, it kept steady but after that we have seen the downfall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the overall contrast between the declining agriculture and manufacturing figures and the growth in retail and healthcare, and you include several relevant values, such as manufacturing reaching about 20 million in 1980. However, some trends are misreported: agriculture did not decline throughout, as it remained at about 3 million from 1980 to 2000, and retail did not grow steadily after 1980 because its rise slowed from 15 to 16 million. The overview also misses the important endpoint comparison: retail and healthcare both reached roughly 16 million in 2020. Develop the overview around the main changes and compare the sectors more precisely; some details are relevant but under-developed or unclear.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to changes over time and then agriculture. This gives the reader a general sense of the topic. However, progression is not consistently clear: the second paragraph discusses several sectors together, then shifts abruptly to agriculture in the final paragraph, repeating its decline and plateau. Linking words such as “But then,” “Whereas,” and “Talking about” are used mechanically or do not clearly connect the ideas. Group the sectors by contrasting trends, and use clearer references and transitions so each paragraph has a distinct purpose. This would make the organisation more logical and reduce repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “steady growth,” “downfall,” “highest peak,” and “producing,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to describe. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. For example, “producing less amount of the job” is not a natural way to describe employment figures, and “the most growing” is unclear. “Downfall” is also repeated where neutral terms such as “decline” or “fall” would be more suitable for a graph description. Aim for precise expressions such as “the number of jobs,” “employment rose,” and “remained stable.” This would improve accuracy and give your vocabulary more flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including contrasts with “whereas” and time clauses such as “after that.” The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors are noticeable. For example, “Between 1960 to 1980” uses an incorrect preposition pattern, and “Manufacturing get the highest peak” has a tense error. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “20 millions jobs” and the comma splice in “at the beginning it was the sector…”. Use past-tense verbs consistently, check singular and plural forms, and separate or join clauses with accurate punctuation. More controlled complex sentences would strengthen the response.

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