Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph demonstrates the number of job possiton in the United State of America perticularly in the field of the economy for different four sectors from 1960 to 2020. Units are measured in millions

Overall, the graph illustrates the consistent growth of the retail and healthcare sector over the years. On the other hand, it shows how both manufacturing and agriculture were experiencing an overall decline.

In 1980 both rtail and healthcare increased comparing to 1960,( from just above 5 million job positions to 10 millions and from fewer jobs to 5 millions respectively). In 2000, both industries the number of employments rosed dramatically, in which retail sectors marked 15 mlillion jobs and healthecare slightly over 10 million jobs.Moreover, in 2000 both industry kept increasing and reached marginally above 15 million jobs.

Nevertheless, manufacturing and agriculture were not steady. In 1980 the agriculture industry decline from just above 5 million jobs in 1960 well over 5 million. and manufactuing was at its pick by having 20 million jobs. in 2000, both sectors declines (slightly under 5 million and considerably less than 20 million respectively). in 2000, the two of sectors diclined just under 15 million job position for manufacturing industry and well unde 5 million jobs for the healthcare field

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad contrast between rising employment in retail and healthcare and falling employment in agriculture, while noting manufacturing’s peak in 1980. However, the account only partly reports the graph’s main features, and several comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. For example, agriculture fell from about 6 million to 3 million by 1980, not to “well over 5 million”; it then remained near 3 million in 2000 before reaching about 2 million in 2020. The final paragraph also mistakenly refers to healthcare when describing the declining sectors. Your overview is relevant, but it overlooks that retail and healthcare both finish at around 16 million and that retail overtakes manufacturing. Give a clearer, accurate account of the full period and distinguish the four sectors consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, an overview and separate paragraphs for rising and declining sectors, so there is some useful organisation. The broad grouping helps the reader follow the intended comparison. However, progression is weakened by unclear sequencing and repeated or inaccurate time references: the paragraph says “In 2000” twice, although the second instance appears to describe 2020. Linking words such as “Moreover” and “Nevertheless” do not always clarify the relationship between ideas, and the final sentence’s reference to “the healthcare field” makes it difficult to know which series is being discussed. Use one paragraph for each clear stage or group, move chronologically through 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2020, and check that pronouns and sector labels have unmistakable references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “consistent growth,” “overall decline,” “increased” and “reached,” which helps communicate the general trends. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts of the report difficult to interpret. Examples include “job possiton,” “retail sectors,” “number of employments rosed,” and “at its pick.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “both industry kept increasing,” which does not clearly identify the sectors or the period. Aim for accurate, repeated use of terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” “rose,” “fell” and “remained stable.” Proofreading spelling and choosing natural collocations would make your comparisons clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including the overview contrast beginning “On the other hand” and a sentence using “in which.” However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors in tense, agreement, articles, plurals and punctuation frequently interrupt the message. For instance, “both industries the number of employments rosed” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “both industry kept increasing” has an agreement error. The sentence beginning “In 1980 the agriculture industry decline” also shifts into an incorrect verb form, and several sentences run together or begin with lowercase letters after full stops. Build comparisons with a reliable pattern—for example, “Retail employment rose from X to Y”—and check subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms and sentence boundaries.

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