Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The information provided in the given line chart compares the number of vacancies in four different sectors of the United States economy over the past 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, It is quite clear that the proportion of new jobs in the manufactruing was become the most dominant sector in the initital era, While the retail and healthcare sectors sharply increaed over the period.

Commencing from the manufacturing sector of the US economy which was initiated from exactly 15 million vacancies in 1960, after that in 1980 the figure rise gradually and reached to its highet number to around 20 millions. Conversely, unward from that point this number was fell gradually and ed with nearly 14 million in 2020. Furthermore, the number of new jobs in the agriculture sector was begin with closely 6 million which declined consistendly to just 4 million in 1980. Similarly, this figure fluctuated and finally finished with only 2.5 million in 2020.

Subsequently, In the economy of the United States the number of new vacancies in both categories retail and healthcare increased significantly. Likewise, the retail jobs stated with only 6 million in 1960, which was rapidly climbed to approximately 15 million in just th last two decades and ultimately ended with roughly 16 million. Moreover, the number of jobs in the healthcare sector was the most least figure of just 2 million, which accelerated marginally in 1980 to 5 million. Simultaneousely, this figure tripled substantially up to 16 million within the last two decades, by overtaking agriculture sector in the beginning and the manufacturing sector at the end.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You cover all four sectors and give a clear overview of the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The key figures are generally well selected, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 to 20 million and healthcare’s increase from 2 to 16 million. Some details, however, are inaccurate or imprecise: agriculture is about 3 million in 1980, not 4 million, and healthcare overtakes agriculture early in the period, rather than “in the beginning” without a clear point. The overview also calls manufacturing dominant in the initial era, although retail and agriculture are tied at about 6 million in 1960. More precise comparisons and a clearer account of when the lines cross would strengthen an otherwise well-supported summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs that group manufacturing with agriculture and retail with healthcare. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the data. You also use linking expressions such as “Conversely,” “Furthermore” and “Moreover.” However, several transitions feel mechanical or do not express the relationship accurately; “Similarly” introduces a further decline, while “Subsequently” does not clearly signal a new time stage. Some sentences are overloaded with multiple events, making the sequence harder to follow. The healthcare sentence about overtaking other sectors is especially unclear. To improve, use simpler, more precise links and organise each paragraph around a clear comparison or time trend.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a varied range of vocabulary, including “declined,” “increased significantly,” “approximately” and “overtaking,” and the reader can usually identify the trends you mean. However, inaccurate word choice and collocation are frequent enough to make some descriptions awkward or unclear. “Vacancies” and “new jobs” are not the same as the chart’s number of jobs, while “the most least figure” and “accelerated marginally” are unsuitable in context. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “manufactruing,” “initital,” “highet” and “Simultaneousely.” Aim for a smaller set of accurate chart-reporting terms, and check spelling and natural combinations before using more elaborate expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt complex sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “which was rapidly climbed…” and “which accelerated marginally in 1980 to 5 million.” However, these structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to sometimes make the timeline or meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “the figure rise,” “this number was fell,” and “the number … was begin,” where verb forms are incorrect. There are also problems with articles, agreement and sentence construction, as in “the manufacturing” and “the proportion … was become.” Use past simple forms consistently for the historical data, and build sentences around a clear subject and verb. Shorter, accurate comparisons would help you show grammatical range more reliably.

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