Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph compares the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020

Overall, the manufacturing and Agriculture shows decline in jobs over the years. In contrast, retail and healthcare shows a upward inclination of jobs by 2020.

Manufacturing in 1960 to 1980 had an increase in jobs from 15 to 20 million however, there was a sudden decline from 1980 to 2020 of 13 million. Agriculture started employement with 6 million in 1960 and decreased to 3 million in 1980 and gradually falling to 2 million by 2020

Retail started with 6 million jobs same as agriculture in 1960, but it took a upward inclination of employment with 16 million opportuinities in 2020. Healthcare began with 3 million in 1960 had an massive upward surge of 16 million, which is equal to the retail jobs produced for opportuinities.

In conclusion, Retail and agriculture began with same number of employement. However retail was seen to have an substantial increase and agriculture had an decrease in employement. The retail and healthcare sector have the same number of jobs and both showed an upward surge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main contrast accurately: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. Several key figures are also reported correctly, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall from 6 to 2 million. The comparison that retail and healthcare both reach 16 million by 2020 is relevant. However, there is a factual inaccuracy: healthcare starts at 2 million, not 3 million. The overview also says manufacturing declines, but could clarify that it first rises before falling, and the account gives limited detail about retail’s progression and the relative positions of the sectors in 2000. More precise coverage of these stages would make the summary more complete and developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the sectors, with a concluding comparison. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture and then retail with healthcare helps the reader follow the main trends. However, the final paragraph largely repeats points already made rather than adding a useful summary, and some links between ideas are awkward. For example, “Manufacturing in 1960 to 1980 had an increase” does not clearly signal the time sequence, while “however” is used without effective punctuation. The overview and conclusion also overlap considerably. Use clearer time-based sequencing and avoid repeating the same comparisons to create more consistent progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “decline,” “gradually falling,” “increase,” and “upward surge,” so the main patterns are generally understandable. There is also some attempt to vary wording rather than relying only on “rise” and “fall.” However, several expressions are unnatural or imprecise for a graph summary: “upward inclination of jobs,” “employment with 16 million opportunities,” and “jobs produced for opportunities” do not describe the data naturally. Spelling errors such as “employement” and “opportuinities” also reduce accuracy. Prefer standard collocations such as “the number of jobs rose to” or “employment increased,” and use “million jobs” rather than “opportunities” when reporting the figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses with “however” and “but,” and most of the intended meaning can be understood. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with subject–verb agreement: “manufacturing and Agriculture shows” and “retail and healthcare shows” should use “show.” There are also missing articles and awkward sentence structures, as in “Healthcare began with 3 million in 1960 had an massive upward surge,” where the clauses need clearer separation and “a” is required before “massive.” Punctuation is inconsistent, especially around “however.” Build accuracy by checking agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, while retaining the range of sentence forms you are attempting.

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