Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about number of jobs in different sectors including manufacturing, reail, agriculture and healthcare over time period of 60 years in US economy.

Overall, manufacturing jobs declined after peaking. Retail and Healthcare jobs remained dominant with highest numbers at the end and agriculture jobs decreased steadily.

All four sectors started with different numbers of jobs in 1960 manufacturing with 15 million jobs, retail 6 million, healthcare 2 million and agriculture 6 million.In 1980, manufacturing jobs peaked with maximum number of jobs reaching 20 million, retail jobs grew considerably with 4 million, healthcare moved 3 million upward and agriculture jobs dropped to 3 million.

In year of 2000, retail and healthcare jobs surged with 5 million and 7 million jobs respectively moreover, manufacturing jobs decreased leaving with 17 millions jobs and agriculture plateaued. Finally, in 2020 reatil and helthcare jobs were doaminant with highest number of jobs reaching 16 million, manufacturing decreased to 14 million and fewer jobs were in agriculture 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and give a clear overview of the main patterns: manufacturing peaks and then declines, while agriculture falls and healthcare and retail finish highest. Most figures are accurately reported, including the 1960 starting points and the 1980 manufacturing peak. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate: retail rises from 6 to 10 million by 1980, rather than simply “grew considerably with 4 million,” and healthcare rises from 2 to 5 million, not by 3 million unless the increase is explicitly stated. The 2020 manufacturing figure is about 13 million, rather than 14. The overview could also distinguish the contrasting paths of retail and healthcare more precisely. Select the key comparisons and report values consistently to make the summary more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a sensible four-part structure: an introduction, an overview and two chronological paragraphs. The progression from 1960 through 2020 is easy to follow, and time markers such as “In 1980,” “In year of 2000” and “Finally” help guide the reader. This gives the report a coherent overall arrangement. Some linking is less controlled, however: “moreover” joins several different trends in a long sentence, while the final paragraph combines the retail and healthcare figures with manufacturing and agriculture without clear separation. Punctuation around these links is also inconsistent. Use shorter sentences and group related comparisons together; this would make the cohesion more flexible and less dependent on repeated time markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “peaking,” “declined,” “surged,” “plateaued” and “dominant.” These choices show an attempt to vary the language rather than repeat “increased” and “decreased.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “moved 3 million upward,” “jobs were doaminant,” and “leaving with 17 millions jobs.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “reail,” “reatil” and “helthcare,” which reduce the overall accuracy of the vocabulary. Aim for precise trend phrases such as “rose by three million” or “stood at 17 million,” and proofread sector names and plural forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the overall meaning is generally clear. For example, the overview uses a contrast between manufacturing and the other sectors, while the later paragraphs describe changes across several years. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in articles, sentence boundaries and number expression. The opening would be more accurate as “the number of jobs” and “over a 60-year period”; “In year of 2000” also needs an article or a more natural time phrase. In “In 1980, manufacturing jobs peaked …, retail jobs grew …,” the clauses need clearer punctuation or separation. Review articles, plural forms such as “17 million jobs,” and punctuation around long sentences to improve control.

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