Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the available employment opportunities in the manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing offered the highest number of jobs but was overtaken by the retail and healthcare sectors towards the end of the period. Agriculture had a decline in the number of jobs offered while retail and healthcare had significant rises.

The manufacturing sector offered 15 million jobs in 1960. It experienced a rise to peak at 20 million jobs in 1980, before diving to about 13 million in 2020. Agriculture had about 6 million jobs in 1960. This was followed by a gradual drop to approximately 3million in 1980 and stablizing at this number upto 2000 and later declined to just about 2.5 million jobs in 2020.

In 1960, healhcare provided the least number of jobs at only 2 million. This was followed by a sharp increase over the years and it ended up at approximately 16 million jobs in 2020. The retail sector had a similar trend starting at 6 million in 1960. It saw a dramatic rise to 15 million in 2000 and ended at a similar number to the retail sector in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare rise. The overview also notes that manufacturing is overtaken near the end, which captures an important comparison. Most figures are consistent with the graph, including manufacturing’s 15-to-20-million rise and healthcare’s increase from 2 to about 16 million. However, the overview is slightly imprecise: retail and healthcare reach about the same level in 2020, rather than both clearly overtaking manufacturing at the same point. The retail account also omits its 1980 figure, and the final comparison mistakenly says retail ended at a similar number to itself; it should compare retail with healthcare. These gaps keep some features less fully reported than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to two groups of details. The grouping of manufacturing with agriculture, followed by healthcare and retail, is easy to follow, and time markers such as “in 1960,” “before,” and “in 2020” help show sequence. Cohesion is not always precise, however. In “This was followed by a sharp increase,” the reference is understandable but could name healthcare again for clarity. The final phrase, “a similar number to the retail sector,” repeats the same sector and makes the comparison confusing. More explicit links between the series and a clearer final comparison would make progression smoother and less dependent on repeated “This was followed by” constructions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “peak,” “gradual drop,” “sharp increase,” and “dramatic rise.” These choices communicate the broad movements clearly, and “offered” and “provided” give some variation when discussing jobs. At times, however, the wording is less precise or natural for a statistical report: “available employment opportunities” is not quite the same as the number of jobs shown, while “diving” is rather informal. There are also spelling errors in “stablizing,” “upto,” and “healhcare,” and the phrase “similar number to the retail sector” is an inaccurate word choice that obscures the intended comparison. More precise, consistently formal trend language would strengthen this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0

You show a good range of sentence forms, including complex time relationships such as “It experienced a rise to peak … before …” and the contrast in “while retail and healthcare had significant rises.” Most sentences are grammatically clear, and the use of past tense is generally appropriate for the period shown. A few errors remain: “a rise to peak” needs an article or a different construction, and “stablizing at this number upto 2000 and later declined” does not maintain a clear parallel structure. The sentence beginning “This was followed by” also has a somewhat unclear reference, while “3million” needs a space. These are limited issues rather than barriers to understanding; improving parallel phrasing and checking punctuation and spacing would make the control more consistent.

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