Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the graph illlustrates the information about the four sectors which are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare related jobs of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

overall, healthcare showed a significant upward trend in the number of jobs and retail jobs also rose through out the period. however, manufacturing escalate in the mid and showed a plummet at the end of the period. agriculture remain relatively low throughout each period.

in 1960, manufacturing employment experienced a substantial increase in 1980 starting from 15 millions and then plunged from 2000 to 2020. considerably, retailing jobs starting from 5 millions and then represents a growth from 1980 to 2000 and a slight increase in 2020.

by contrast, healthcare jobs has peaked through each year, it showed a gradual increase from 1960 to 1980 and then surged in 2000 to 2020. at last, agricultures jobs were at the lowest showing a downaward trend starting from 6 millions jbs and then remain relatively low at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify all four sectors and give a relevant overview: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture remains low, and manufacturing falls after reaching a high point. These are the main patterns in the graph. Some details, however, are unclear or inaccurate. Manufacturing rises from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980, but “experienced a substantial increase in 1980 starting from 15 millions” does not clearly state the peak, and “plunged” overstates its later decline to 13 million. Retail begins at about 6 million, not 5 million, and healthcare does not peak each year; it rises steadily to about 16 million. Develop the comparisons with clearer, accurate figures and distinguish the sectors that finish at similar levels.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The overview helps the reader identify the main trends, and expressions such as “by contrast” signal a comparison. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. For example, the manufacturing sentence moves from 1960 to 1980 and then to 2000–2020 without clearly stating the values or stages, while “considerably” does not make the relationship to the retail trend clear. The final paragraph also shifts from healthcare to agriculture abruptly. Use a consistent chronological order and group related trends—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—with linking phrases that accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “significant upward trend,” “gradual increase,” “surged,” and “downward trend,” which helps describe the graph. Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural in this context, though: “manufacturing escalate” and “plummet” do not fit the data or the required verb forms, while “healthcare jobs has peaked” misuses “peak” to describe a steady rise. There are also spelling and word-form slips, such as “illlustrates,” “through out,” “downaward,” and “agricultures.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the general message, but they reduce precision. Aim for accurate collocations such as “employment rose,” “reached a peak,” and “declined gradually,” and proofread spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses with “however” and “by contrast,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. Some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction remain. For instance, “manufacturing escalate” needs a past-tense verb, “agriculture remain” needs subject–verb agreement, and “healthcare jobs has peaked” should use a plural verb; the sentence beginning “in 1960, manufacturing employment experienced…” also has an unclear grammatical relationship between the starting figure and the later increase. Plural and quantity forms are inconsistent in “15 millions” and “6 millions.” Practise forming complete, clearly linked sentences and checking tense and agreement, especially when describing changes across several years.

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