Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates that the information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US 60 years period between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is cleared that Healthcare and retail increased significantly over the period, while Manufacturing sector increased at first but in 1980 it decreased drametically. Agriculture sector steadilt decreas the number of jobs over the period.

Regarding healthcare and retail, these sectors increased the number of jobs significantly. In 1980 healthcare had the lowest number of emplyment about 2 million, but after 20 years slightly increased at 5 million, while retail sector in 1980 had 6 million which increased with the pessage of time. These two sectors rise their number of jobs over the period. Meanwhile, manufacturing sector in 1980 start fell down it number of jobs.

In agriculture sector, in 1980 this sector had about 6 million number of jobs which steadily decreased it number over the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad pattern that healthcare and retail rise while agriculture declines, and you include an overview. However, several key details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare starts at about 2 million in 1960, not 1980, and rises to 5 million in 1980; manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million by 2020, rather than simply decreasing dramatically after 1980. Retail rises from 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020, and healthcare also reaches about 16 million, a useful comparison that is missing. The overview also says manufacturing increased at first, but the later description does not clearly report its full trend. Select the main turning points and compare the final figures accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, an overview and separate discussion of sectors. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Regarding” and “Meanwhile” help signal shifts. However, progression is weakened by repetition: the rise in healthcare and retail is stated several times without adding precise information, while manufacturing is mentioned briefly and then left incomplete. Some references are also difficult to follow, particularly “these sectors” and “this sector,” because the surrounding details are inaccurate or repetitive. Organise the body around clear comparisons—for example, the two sectors that grew most, followed by manufacturing and agriculture—and use each paragraph to add distinct data rather than restating the overview.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “decreased,” “steadily” and “significantly,” so the general meaning is usually understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems reduce precision. Phrases such as “cleared,” “rise their number of jobs” and “with the pessage of time” are not natural ways to describe the graph, while “dramatically” is misspelled and does not accurately describe the manufacturing trend as presented. Repeated use of “number of jobs” also makes the account less varied. Build a small set of accurate trend expressions, such as “rose to,” “declined from,” “reached a peak” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “while” and a sentence beginning “Although” is not present; the use of “while” shows an effort to connect trends. However, many sentences contain errors in verb forms, agreement, articles or sentence construction, and these sometimes make the timeline hard to understand. For example, “it is cleared” and “Agriculture sector steadilt decreas the number” are not grammatically controlled, while “manufacturing sector in 1980 start fell down it number” has several problems with tense and sentence structure. The sentence beginning “In 1980 healthcare…” also assigns the starting value to the wrong year. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build shorter, complete sentences before adding subordinate clauses.

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