Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given graph is line graph. It illustrates the employment in four different areas of economy of US over the period of 60 years starting from 1960 to ending at 2020. taking a look into parameters, the data is divided into x-axis and y- axis, where x-axis represent years and y- axis shows the number of jobs . The data is calibrated in millions.
to give an overview, the evident overall trend is that the out of four sectors three regions showing upward trend throughout the time period, except agriculture. Further, the key feature that stands out is that the manufacturing was the trending area of job acquired from initial two decades starting with 15 million.After reaching its peak in 1980 by 20 million number of jobs, it experienced a sudden decline in next four decades and reached its lowest in the end of 2020 at 12 million jobs.
Additionally, a significant similarity can be seen among the number employment in the sectors of retail and healthcare, which started with lowest around 6 million and 2 million approximately respectively and experienced a surge after two decades of slightly increment. As, in 1980 both the sectors reached at 5 million and 10 million jobs , followed a sudden increment throughout the time frame and acquired a common figure of 16 million approximately in 2020.
Finally, agriculture was the odd one out and since initial years followed a decline and touched the lowest figure among all the regions of employment at 2 million at the end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
You identify the main patterns and include relevant comparisons: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling, retail and healthcare rise to about 16 million by 2020, and agriculture declines to 2 million. These details support a clear overview and show good selection of key features. However, the overview says three sectors show an upward trend “throughout,” which is not accurate for manufacturing, and the description of retail and healthcare in 1980 reverses their figures: retail is about 10 million and healthcare about 5 million. The claim that manufacturing reached its “lowest” level is also misleading, since its 2020 figure remains above its 1960 figure. More precise reporting and a fully accurate overview would strengthen the response.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. Its progression from manufacturing to retail and healthcare, then agriculture, is generally easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Additionally” and “Finally” help signal shifts between points. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear, particularly “As, in 1980…” and “followed a sudden increment,” where the relationship between the figures and the preceding sentence is difficult to track. The overview also combines a broad trend with a manufacturing exception, creating a slight contradiction. Grouping the sectors more deliberately and using clearer sentence links would make the progression smoother and the comparisons easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “peak,” “decline,” “surge,” and “odd one out,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to describe. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “the key feature that stands out.” However, several expressions are unnatural or imprecise: “employment in four different areas of economy,” “number employment,” and “trending area of job acquired” do not communicate the data naturally. “Sudden” is also not a precise description of changes shown at intervals of twenty years. Aim for standard collocations such as “number of jobs,” “employment sector,” and “rose steadily,” and choose terms that accurately describe the scale and pace of change.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning “After reaching its peak…” and “which started with…,” so there is some structural variety. The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the given graph is line graph” needs an article, while “x-axis represent” and “y-axis shows” show inconsistent subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “Additionally” becomes difficult to control, especially “As, in 1980 both the sectors reached at…”; punctuation and clause structure obscure the comparison. Capitalisation after full stops and comma use are also inconsistent. Build accuracy by checking articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, and split long sentences when their clauses become hard to manage.
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