Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates how much jobs are there in four different sectors of the economy in the united state between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is evident that manufacturing has the higher proportion in 1960. Meanwhile, healthcare had the lower figure at the first year but still managed to surge to the highest and same proportion with retail. In contrast, agriculture recorded the lowest proportion in 2020.

In 1960, manufacturing stood at 15 million, it then increased gradually to 20 million by 1980. Following that, manufacturing sector experienced a dip to record 17 million by 2000, which then continued to fall till it reach 13 million by 2020. In contrary, agriculture sector stood at 6 millon, then fell to 3 million by 1980. This then remained stable between 1980 and 2000 before it decrease slightly to 2 million by 2020.

Retail stood at 6 million compare to 2 million recorded in healthcare in 1960. Retail witnessed a gradual increase of 10 million by 1980 and 15 million in 2000. this then went up slightly to reach it peak at 16 million by 2020. Healthcare experienced a gradual increase to 5 million in 1980, 11 million in 2000, and reach it peak at 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response selects the main trends and supports them with relevant figures. It correctly identifies manufacturing as the largest sector initially, healthcare and retail as joint leaders by 2020, and agriculture as the smallest at the end. The body also reports the key rises and falls accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and agriculture’s decline to 2 million. This clear overview and generally well-chosen comparisons show strong coverage of the task. To make the account more fully developed, clarify that retail and healthcare are equal at 16 million in 2020; “the highest and same proportion with retail” is awkward and slightly unclear. The overview could also state more directly that retail and healthcare rose overall while manufacturing and agriculture declined after their respective earlier levels.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-part structure: introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs that group manufacturing with agriculture and retail with healthcare. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and sequencing within each series is generally chronological. Linking expressions such as “Following that,” “In contrast,” and “Meanwhile” help show relationships. However, some connections are mechanical or imprecise: “In contrary” does not form a natural contrast, and “This then” is used repeatedly without a clear reference. The overview’s “Meanwhile” also links ideas that are not quite parallel. For stronger progression, use more precise transitions and make each paragraph’s comparisons explicit, rather than relying on repeated “then” constructions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased gradually,” “experienced a dip,” “remained stable,” and “witnessed a gradual increase.” These choices communicate the data clearly, and the writer attempts some varied phrasing. However, several word-choice and collocation problems limit precision: “how much jobs are there” is unsuitable for a graph about job numbers, “higher proportion” is not the right description of the figures, and “reach it peak” is not idiomatic. Spelling and capitalization also need attention, as in “millon,” “united state,” and the lowercase “this” after a full stop. Aim for consistent terms such as “number of jobs” and “figure,” and check spelling and natural collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “which” and time expressions such as “before.” Most trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. The opening question structure in “how much jobs are there” is incorrect; “jobs” is plural, and the sentence should be framed as a statement about how the number changed. There are also tense and agreement errors in “till it reach 13 million” and “before it decrease slightly,” where past-tense forms are needed. Comma splices appear in “manufacturing stood at 15 million, it then increased,” and “compare to” should be “compared with” in this construction. More accurate clause boundaries and consistent past-tense reporting would improve control.

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