Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

For any country development one of the major significiant factor for its growth heavily depends upon Employment of its people. Country will always prosper if its citizens are being provided proper job security.

However, in the past couple of years there has been significiant changes regarding the job sectors in which people generally tends to grow.

In the figure provided, we can clear see from 1960 to 2020 how jobs evolve overtime. In case of Manufacturing, In 1960 there were around 15 milion jobs but slowly slowly trend decrease and by 2020, Job in Manufacturing field reduced to around 12 to 13 million.

Next if we look at retail jobs, we can clearly see more and more jobs are being created in this people. In 1960, there were approxmiately around 6 to 7 million jobs in retails, which by 2020 increased by around 15 to 16 million. World seen a major significant developement phase from 1960 till 2020.

Contary to Retail jobs, however Agriculture related jobs faced significiant decline which is an alarming sign. There are multiple reasons for this however one of the reason could be, its a sadly reality that Agriculture related jobs are not considered a proper career, and people look down upon one who is in agriculture field as compared to those you are in Manufacturing or any other field.

Lastly in Healthcare sector, from 1960 to 2020 there were significant increase in the job. More and more people are being inclined towards getting into Healthcare field which we can clear see from the trend. One of the reason Jobs increase in the healthcare is growing population of the US. When population increases, demands in healthcare sector also increases as we can clearly see from this graph.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad directions for all four sectors: manufacturing eventually falls, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture declines. Some figures are also close to the chart, such as manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and retail at roughly 6–7 million. However, the response only partly fulfils the summary task because it lacks a clear, concise overview of the main comparisons. The manufacturing account says the trend decreases “slowly slowly,” overlooking its rise to 20 million in 1980 before falling. Agriculture’s decline is mentioned without its approximate values, and healthcare’s sharp growth is not quantified. The opening claims about job security and explanations for sector changes are not supported by the graph; focus instead on the data and key turning points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable sequence, moving from manufacturing to retail, agriculture and healthcare, and paragraph breaks help distinguish these sections. Linking phrases such as “Next,” “Contrary to,” and “Lastly” make the order easy to follow. However, progression is weakened by the general introduction about employment and by commentary that interrupts the chart description, particularly the speculation about agriculture and population growth. Some transitions are repetitive, and the opening does not establish a clear overview of the graph’s main pattern. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining or fluctuating sectors together, with a brief overview first, would create a more coherent comparison. Keep each paragraph focused on reporting and comparing the visual information.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant terms, including “Manufacturing,” “retail jobs,” “decline,” and “trend,” so the reader can generally identify the sectors and their direction of change. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, such as “jobs are being created in this people,” “World seen a major significant developement phase,” and “people are being inclined towards getting into Healthcare field.” Repeated use of “significant” and “clearly see” also makes the description less precise. Spelling errors, including “significiant,” “milion,” “approxmiately,” and “Contary,” are noticeable. Use concise, chart-focused vocabulary and accurate collocations to describe rises, falls, peaks and comparisons.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “which” and “when,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur frequently in agreement and sentence structure: “one of the major significiant factor” needs a plural noun, while “people generally tends” should use a plural verb. Articles and prepositions are also often missing or misplaced, as in “In case of Manufacturing” and “in Healthcare sector.” Some sentences become difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear punctuation, particularly the explanation beginning “There are multiple reasons for this.” Use shorter, complete sentences to report each trend, and check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation. More accurate control of these basic patterns would make the information easier to understand.

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