Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This bar chart shows us the difference between the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US, from 1960 to 2020. As we can see in the picture, it's a huge comparison between every sector like manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. It's important to see how the number of jobs has grown in 1980 for the Manufacturing, and this is very high compared with the other jobs. We can see a decline of this after this year followed by the Retail and the Healthcare sector which had grow and give to people an opportunity for their life, new jobs and why not, more money.

In the case of the Agriculture sector we can see a huge impact. We cannot see a big difference from 1980, so the importance of our food is not very high and affects our life and our health in every situation. This is an important factor for us to survive and live in peace.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the four sectors and notes the manufacturing peak in 1980, its subsequent decline, and growth in retail and healthcare. However, it only minimally summarises the graph: there is no clear overview of the main changes across the whole period, and most figures and comparisons are omitted. The agriculture discussion also shifts into unsupported claims about food’s importance and people’s health rather than describing the data; the chart shows employment falling from about 6 million to 2 million, not the broader social impact suggested. To strengthen the response, report the key trends accurately, including that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, while agriculture declines overall. Eleven words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the first paragraph introduces the chart and discusses manufacturing, retail and healthcare, while the second turns to agriculture. Linking phrases such as “In the case of” and “followed by” provide some connections. However, the ideas do not progress as a clear summary of the data, and the discussion moves from employment figures to general comments about food, health and living in peace. References such as “this” and “this year” are not always precise, making the relationships between points unclear. A clearer overview followed by grouped comparisons—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary, including “decline,” “sector,” “Manufacturing,” and “Agriculture,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are vague or unsuitable for describing a graph, such as “a huge comparison” and “a huge impact.” Some word combinations and forms are inaccurate, including “had grow” and “give to people an opportunity,” which make parts of the message less clear. Aim for precise trend language and avoid personal or speculative comments that do not describe the visual. For example, use “employment rose” or “the figure remained stable” rather than broad claims about the importance of food.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentences, including “We can see a decline of this after this year followed by the Retail and the Healthcare sector…” However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to understand. For instance, “which had grow” has an incorrect verb form, while “the number of jobs has grown in 1980” uses an unsuitable tense for a completed past period. There are also problems with articles and sentence construction, as in “in US.” Use past simple consistently for the historical data, check subject–verb agreement, and build shorter, controlled comparisons before attempting longer sentences.

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