Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in manufactuing,retail,agriculture,healthcare sectors of the United States economy.Between the years from 1960 to 2020.The number of jobs are measured in millions.

In this graph the number of jobs in four different sectors are shown where in 1960 the manufacturing industry takes the lead of having around 15 million jobs. While the number of jobs in the health care industry were around 2.5 million making it the least of the all four sectors. But over the period of time in 2020,the health care sector had had a emormous increase leading the table with around 16 million jobs.while on the other hand the jobs in manufacturing sector had negative growth and by 2020 declined around 12 million.The agriculture sector also faced the same issue in 1960 it had around 6 million jobs,but in 2020 it went to near 2 million.While the retail has overall positive development as it offered around 6 million jobs in 1960 but in 2020 the numbers were around 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important features, including manufacturing’s initial lead, healthcare’s strong rise, agriculture’s decline and retail’s overall growth. The opening and closing comparisons give the reader a general sense of change. However, the account is selective and some key details are unclear or inaccurate: manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980 before falling to around 13 million, but this middle-stage pattern is omitted. Retail and healthcare both finish at approximately 16 million, rather than healthcare clearly leading; retail is also reported as about 15 million. The overview would be stronger if it summarised the main contrasts across the whole period and included the 1980 and 2000 turning points, rather than focusing mainly on the start and end years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response follows a broadly understandable order, moving from the chart introduction to comparisons between sectors, and phrases such as “over the period of time” and “on the other hand” help signal contrast. However, the information is presented in one long paragraph, so the overview and supporting details are not clearly separated. Several transitions are awkward or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “While” and “But,” and the sentence beginning “While the number of jobs…” is not grammatically connected to the preceding sentence. Organise the report into a brief introduction, an overview, and one or two detail paragraphs. Group related trends together and use linking expressions to show comparisons without making the progression feel mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “industry,” “sector,” “declined,” “increase,” and “positive development,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts to vary phrasing rather than repeat “jobs” throughout. However, some choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “takes the lead of having” and “negative growth” are less suitable than direct trend language, while “leading the table” is informal. Spelling errors such as “manufactuing” and “emormous” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise collocations such as “accounted for,” “rose steadily,” and “fell to,” and check spelling carefully. This would make the description more fluent and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while” and “but,” and the main trends can usually be understood. However, some sentence boundaries and structures are faulty. “Between the years from 1960 to 2020” is a fragment, and “While the number of jobs…” is also left incomplete. There are agreement and verb-form problems in “the number of jobs are shown” and “had had a enormous increase,” as well as inconsistent punctuation where sentences run together after full stops. Use complete sentences, check singular subjects such as “the number,” and keep past-tense reporting consistent. More accurate control of these patterns would make the comparisons easier to follow.

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