Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the data of employment in four different sectors of US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, jobs in manufacturing and agriculture declined over the time, while retail and agriculture demonstrated a considerable rose. Initially, manufacturing was the highest employment sector, however by 2020, healthcare and retail became the leading industry.

In 1960, 15 million workers were employed in manufacturing field. Having reached a peak of 20 million jobs in 1980, before falling dramatically around 14 million in 2020. Similarly, Agriculture stood at just above 5 million jobs in 1960 and gradually decline nearly 1 million by the end.

Conversely, employees hired in retail sector was almost around 6 million in 1960 and increased steadily to 15 million by 2000, remained stable till the end by just slightly increasing to same amount of healthcare. Likewise, people got employed in healthcare industry were accounted for about 3 million in 1960 and overtook manufacturing just slightly above 15 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main contrasting trends and provide a clear overview: manufacturing and agriculture generally fell, while retail and healthcare rose. The account also includes useful figures, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and retail reaching 15 million by 2000. However, the overview contains a factual inconsistency: it says both manufacturing and agriculture declined, then says “retail and agriculture” rose; healthcare is the sector that rose. Some details are also imprecise: retail increased slightly from 15 to 16 million after 2000 rather than remaining stable, and healthcare reached about 16 million, matching retail, not overtaking manufacturing only “just slightly above 15.” Clarifying these comparisons and describing the end-point leaders accurately would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the declining sectors and then the rising sectors. This gives the information a generally logical progression, and transitions such as “Similarly” and “Conversely” help signal comparisons. The organisation is not fully smooth, however: the overview’s reference to agriculture rising conflicts with the preceding trend, which makes the reader pause. In the final paragraph, “Likewise” introduces healthcare, but the relationship to retail could be made clearer by directly comparing their end values. Use more precise links between each trend and its comparison, and ensure that references such as “same amount” have an unmistakable referent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “peak,” “declined,” “increased steadily,” and “overtook,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “employment sector” and “workers were employed.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “a considerable rose,” “manufacturing field,” “employees hired in retail sector,” and “people got employed.” These reduce naturalness and sometimes make the meaning less precise, although they do not prevent the reader from following the report. Prefer standard chart-reporting expressions such as “employment in manufacturing,” “the number of retail jobs,” and “rose considerably.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the overall meaning remains clear. However, some sentence structures and verb forms are not controlled consistently. For example, “Having reached a peak of 20 million jobs in 1980, before falling…” is a fragment because the opening participle is not connected to a main clause. In “agriculture … gradually decline,” the verb should be in the past tense, and “retail sector was” needs plural agreement if the subject is “employees.” Articles and sentence construction also need attention in phrases such as “in manufacturing field.” Aim to make each sentence complete, check past-tense consistency, and review subject–verb agreement; these changes would improve accuracy while preserving your range of structures.

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