Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrate the number of occoputions in the four main sector of the economy in the united states from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it's clearely visible that the manufacturing sector is the dominant sector on the graph, despite of the fact that the healthcare and retail sector had a strong improvement unlike the agriculture sector which faced a horbile decreasement.

First of all, we can see that healthcare and retail sectors starting on 1960 passing to 1980,2000 to 2020 faced a noticable increasement on the affordable jobs which shows the importance give the us gouvernment to these two sectors because we can see that since 1960 started with nearly 7 million job the number reached 30 million job by 2020.

In addition to manufacturing sector which remain the highest sector that affording jobs since 1960 and that becuse we had 15 million job, despite of the fact that since 1980 the number of jobs reached 20 million job, and then we had a decreasement in statistics until 2020 we had almost only 13 million job.

Also, the weakest sector is agriculture, this secotr catched on 1960 6 million job but then faced a huge decreasement to nearly 2 million job only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad trends: manufacturing rises to a peak and then declines, while healthcare and retail grow, and agriculture falls. The manufacturing figures and agriculture’s endpoints are broadly accurate. However, the overview incorrectly calls manufacturing the dominant sector throughout; by 2020, retail and healthcare are both about 16 million, above manufacturing at about 13 million. The statement that healthcare and retail together reach “30 million” is also unsupported: their combined total is about 32 million, and the text does not clearly distinguish this from individual sector figures. Develop the key comparisons more precisely, including healthcare’s rise from about 2 to 16 million and retail’s steady growth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about growing sectors, manufacturing and agriculture. Paragraphing helps separate these points, and phrases such as “Overall” and “In addition” signal relationships. However, progression is weakened by long, crowded sentences and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the sentence beginning “First of all” combines the trends in two sectors with an unsupported explanation about government priorities and a combined total, making the main comparison difficult to follow. “In addition to manufacturing sector” also does not form a clear transition into the next point. Use one focused paragraph for the overview and organise the details into clear comparisons, with accurate referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of trend vocabulary, including “dominant,” “improvement,” “decreasement” and “weakest sector,” so the reader can generally identify whether figures rise or fall. However, word choice, spelling and collocation errors are frequent and sometimes make the description awkward. Examples include “occoputions,” “horbile decreasement,” “affordable jobs” and “the importance give the us gouvernment.” Several expressions are not suitable for describing chart data: “jobs” or “employment” is more precise than “occupations” here, and “number of jobs” is clearer than “affordable jobs.” Aim for a smaller set of accurate academic terms, such as “increased,” “declined,” “reached a peak” and “remained the lowest.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentences and uses clauses with “despite the fact that” and “which,” but these structures are often faulty, and sentence control is inconsistent. For example, “healthcare and retail sectors starting” lacks a finite verb, while “the manufacturing sector which remain” has incorrect agreement and an incomplete clause. Articles and prepositions are also often missing or misplaced, as in “on 1960” and “In addition to manufacturing sector.” Punctuation and spacing around dates need attention, too. These errors recur and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, articles and complete sentence boundaries.

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