Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph shows the number of jobs involving 4 sectorsof economy in the US in 1960- 2020.

Manufacturing job is at the highest peak comprimising 20 million job in the year 1980.You can see that it has a n slight decrease in employment in 2020 making the Retail to its higest recorded rate.Retails leveled with number of jobs with Manufacturing in 2020

Agriculture, has the lowest recorded job employment in 2020.It continues to fluctuates for over 60 years. Healthcare has a substantial increase in jobs making it even with Retail in 2020.In 1980, between Agriculture and Healthcare, the trend for both remains slightly the same.

If you look at the chart, for over 60 years there has been subtanstial decrease amount of unemployment rate in agricultur sector and a good empoyement rate for manufacturing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify several relevant features, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980, agriculture’s low level, and healthcare’s rise to match retail by 2020. However, the response gives only a limited account of the graph and lacks a clear, accurate overview of the main changes across all four sectors. The statement that retail reached its highest rate in 2020 is broadly supported, but “Retail[s] leveled with … Manufacturing in 2020” is inaccurate: retail and healthcare were level at about 16 million, while manufacturing was lower, at about 13 million. The claim that agriculture “continues to fluctuates” also misses its overall decline. The response is 15 words below the required minimum. Add a concise overview and compare the key trends more accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has some basic organisation: it begins with manufacturing and retail, then discusses agriculture and healthcare, before ending with a general comment. This gives the reader a rough sense of the topics covered. However, the progression is not consistently clear, and the final paragraph repeats broad points rather than drawing the main trends together. Connections between ideas are sometimes confusing, particularly “In 1980, between Agriculture and Healthcare, the trend for both remains slightly the same,” which does not clearly explain the comparison. Paragraphing is present but does not yet create a well-developed summary structure. Grouping the overview first, followed by the rising sectors and then the declining sector, would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing data, such as “peak,” “decrease,” “substantial increase,” and “employment.” These choices show an attempt to use language suited to a graph rather than relying only on basic terms. However, several inaccurate or misspelled expressions reduce clarity, including “comprimising,” “higest,” “subtanstial,” and “empoyement.” Some collocations are also awkward: “highest recorded rate” and “good employment rate” are not precise ways to describe job numbers. “Unemployment rate” is especially misleading because the graph reports jobs, not unemployment. Use consistent terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” “rose,” and “fell,” and check spelling and word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You produce several understandable simple sentences and attempt some more complex forms, for example, “Healthcare has a substantial increase in jobs making it even with Retail in 2020.” However, the range is limited, and frequent errors in sentence construction and punctuation make parts of the response difficult to interpret. Examples include “Manufacturing job is at the highest peak,” “It continues to fluctuates,” and “Agriculture, has the lowest recorded job employment,” where agreement, verb form, or sentence structure is faulty. Spacing and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “1980.You” and “2020.It.” Practise forming accurate comparisons with past-tense verbs, such as “Manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, then declined,” and proofread each sentence for agreement and punctuation.

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