Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph below illustrates that majority of the jobs in four different sectors of economy in USA between 1960 and 2020.

This graph shows that how much jobs from different sectors have effects on the us economy.

overall,It can be seen in the graph that in the agriculture sector the number of jobs started decreasing from the earliest of 1960s and the number just keep coming down until 2020 and we also can that the other sectors in terms of jobs over the year are doing preety damn good work.

If we dig deep in the paragraph we can see that the manufacturing sector produces around 15 millions jobs in a year of 1960 and then this sector saw a great spike with 20 millions jobs produces until 1980 but after that it falls to around below 15 million in 2020.

on the other hand retail and healthcare sector saw a increase in jobs from around above 1 million to 16 million jobs in the span of 1960 to 2020.

We saw great decrease in agriculture sector with almost 6 million jobs in 1960 and gradually decreasing and until 2020 its stop on little above 1 million

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad decline in agriculture and the rise in retail and healthcare, and you include some relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching about 20 million in 1980. However, the overview is vague: saying the other sectors did “pretty damn good work” does not explain their contrasting trends or that retail and healthcare both finish at around 16 million. Some figures are imprecise or misleading: manufacturing falls to about 13 million, not “below 15” as a clear endpoint, while retail starts at 6 million and healthcare at 2 million, rather than both rising from “above 1 million.” The response therefore covers the main subject but leaves important comparisons unclear. Give a concise overview of the key changes, then report accurate start and end values for each sector.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation: the response begins with an introduction, gives an overview, and then discusses manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture. However, progression is weakened by repetition and unclear paragraphing. Agriculture is described in both the overview and the final sentence, while the phrase “If we dig deep in the paragraph” does not clearly signal a useful comparison. The retail and healthcare trends are grouped together, but their different starting points and rates of growth are not explained. Linking phrases such as “on the other hand” are used, yet the relationship between the ideas is not always logical. Organise the report into a clear overview followed by grouped comparisons, and use references and transitions that make each comparison explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sector,” “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” and “decreasing,” so the reader can generally identify the subject. However, the range is limited and several informal or inaccurate expressions are unsuitable for an academic report. “Pretty damn good work” is conversational and does not describe a measurable trend; “great spike” and “dig deep” are also imprecise. There are noticeable collocation and word-form problems in phrases such as “15 millions jobs” and “jobs produces.” Repeated use of “jobs” and “sector” also limits flexibility. Choose neutral trend language such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “remained stable,” and use accurate combinations such as “15 million jobs” and “the number of jobs increased.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, and the main trends are usually understandable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in longer clauses. Examples include “This graph shows that how much jobs…” and “the number just keep coming down,” where clause structure and verb forms are faulty. There are also errors in agreement and tense, as in “this sector saw a great spike with 20 millions jobs produces,” and punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, including “overall,It” and the lowercase “us.” These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended meaning. Practise forming clear subject–verb sentences and use past-tense verbs consistently to describe the historical data; check sentence boundaries and capital letters during proofreading.

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