Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall , it is clear that the number of jobs in manufacturing sector accounted for highest rate while agriculture sector had the lowest . In addition , retail and healthcare sectors had continuously increased throughout the period .

Looking first at the manufacturing sector recorded the 15 miilions of jobs in 1960 while it increased from 15 million to 20 million in 1980 but it can consistenlty decreased to 14 milion in last year . however , retail sector represented 6 million in 1960 and than continuously increased and reached 15million in 2000 whereas 15.5 million in 2020 .

Furthermore , healthcare sector stood at 3 million in first year and it significantly grew to 5 million in 1980 while reached 15million in 2020 . Finally , healthcare sector recorded 6 million in 1960 but n 1980 it decreased consistenly from 6 million to 3 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and give an overall comparison, noting manufacturing’s early prominence and agriculture’s low figures. However, the overview is inaccurate: manufacturing was not the highest throughout, as retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020, compared with manufacturing’s 13 million. The final paragraph also confuses healthcare with agriculture: “healthcare sector recorded 6 million in 1960” describes agriculture, while healthcare began at about 2 million. Several figures and trends are therefore misreported, and the key crossover in which healthcare and retail catch up with manufacturing is not clearly summarised. To strengthen the response, check each series against the graph and give a concise, accurate overview before selecting supporting figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, an overview and separate body paragraphs, and it attempts to group manufacturing with retail before discussing the other sectors. This gives the reader some basic structure. However, progression is weakened by the inaccurate grouping and by the final paragraph’s switch from healthcare to agriculture without a clear transition. “Looking first at” and “Furthermore” provide some signposting, but the connections between comparisons are limited, and the overview does not guide the reader through the main changes. Use one paragraph for the overview and organise the details by clear trends or time periods, naming each sector consistently. This would make the sequence easier to follow and reduce the need for the reader to infer which data are being described.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “stood at” and “reached,” so the main direction of change is often understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “accounted for highest rate” for job numbers and “it can consistently decreased.” Spelling errors—including “miilions,” “consistenlty” and “milion”—also make the writing less precise. Some phrases are repetitive, particularly repeated uses of “million” and “increased.” Aim for accurate, natural expressions such as “the number of jobs,” “rose to” and “declined steadily,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses linked with “while” and “whereas.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between figures unclear. For example, “Looking first at the manufacturing sector recorded” lacks a grammatical subject for the main clause, while “it can consistenlty decreased” combines an unsuitable modal with the past form. Articles and sentence boundaries are also unreliable, as in “in last year” and the lower-case “however” after a full stop. Practise forming complete clauses with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when describing the historical data. Careful punctuation and article use would make the comparisons easier to understand.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.