Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates, Overall number of jobs in four sectors of economy in thr US between 1960 to 2020. The Manufacturing sector holds the highest number of jobs furthermore it sifnificant surge, from 15 millions to 20 millions between 1960 to 1980, Aprt from this it is sharply declined in the number of jobs. Whereas the Retail shows the continous growth and hold around 15 millions number of jobs. Besie that Agriculture keep falling since 1960, it was sharply declined by 1980, furthermore it remains constant in upcoming years nevertheless it shows a significant declined by 2020. On the other hand Healthcare sector hold the highest growth, Since 1960 it shows a significant growth, additionally it sharply surge till 2020, furthermore it offers around 15 million jobs in the US economy. Overall Manufacturing was declined in the number of jobs, whereas Healthcare shows the biggest surge in the sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main direction of change in all four sectors, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak and subsequent decline, agriculture’s overall fall, and growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is repeated at the end rather than developed through clear, accurate comparisons. Some details are imprecise: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not around 15 million, while healthcare rises to about 16 million, rather than around 15 million. The claim that manufacturing “holds the highest number” needs qualification because retail and healthcare catch up by 2020. The response is also one word below the required minimum. Add a clearer overview and compare the final figures and key turning points to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response mentions all four sectors and uses linking expressions such as “Whereas,” “On the other hand,” and “Overall,” so the reader can identify the broad topics. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, with no clear separation between an overview and supporting details. Several connectors are repeated or used awkwardly—“furthermore” appears multiple times, and “Apart from this” does not clearly show the relationship between the manufacturing figures. The final “Overall” sentence largely repeats earlier points instead of drawing the trends together. Organise the response into a brief introduction, an overview, and one or two detail paragraphs, grouping related trends and using fewer, more precise transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of trend vocabulary, including “significant growth,” “sharply declined,” “continuous growth,” and “remains constant.” This gives the reader a general sense of movement, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “holds the highest number” and “offers around 15 million jobs” are not suitable descriptions of the data, and “significant declined” uses the wrong form. Spelling errors such as “sifnificant,” “Aprt,” and “Besie” also reduce clarity. Some phrases repeat, particularly “significant” and “sharply.” Use precise chart language such as “rose,” “fell,” “peaked at,” and “levelled off,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You make some attempts to combine clauses, for example with “Whereas” and “On the other hand,” but many sentences are joined in ways that make their grammatical relationships unclear. Errors include “between 1960 to 1980” (the correct pattern is “between … and …”), “Agriculture keep falling,” and “Healthcare sector hold,” where subject–verb agreement and verb forms are incorrect. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “the Manufacturing sector” and the long opening sentence, which runs several ideas together with commas. These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended meaning. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and agreement, and use shorter sentences with clear punctuation alongside a few controlled complex structures.

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