Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The provided line graph presents information about the number of jobs in four differnet sectors of the economy in the US over the period of 1960 and 2020.

In general, manufacturing sector accounted the highest figure of jobs in 1960, while healthcare department had the least number of jobs at the start of time period.

Looking at the line chart in detail, it is clear that maufacturing sector consisted of 15 million jobs in 1960 with the increase of 20 million jobs in 1980. This figure experienced a sharp decline until 2020 and reached around 13 million. Moreover, occupations in retail sector in 1960 were approximately 5 million and moved towards a considerable increase until 2000 then it levelled off in 2020 and recorded number was about 15 million.

Comparatively, employment opportunities in agriculture department in 1960 were around 5 million and after a slight decline reached 3 million at the end of year. Furthermore, in healthcare number of jobs vancancies were 2 million and showed a sharp increase to the end of 2020 reached 15 milllion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing starts as the largest sector, while healthcare is the smallest, and you describe the broad rise in healthcare and decline in agriculture. Several key figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, the overview is limited to the starting point and does not summarise the important later changes: by 2020, retail and healthcare are joint leaders, while agriculture is lowest. Some details are unclear or inaccurate: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million, and agriculture falls to about 2 million, rather than 3 million at the end. Develop the overview around these end-point comparisons and report the main trends more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-part structure, moving from an introduction and overview to two detail paragraphs. The grouping of manufacturing with retail, then agriculture with healthcare, helps the reader follow the comparisons, and phrases such as “Moreover” and “Comparatively” signal transitions. This coherent arrangement is a strength. Some links between ideas are less smooth or precise, however: “after a slight decline reached 3 million at the end of year” compresses a trend that actually levels off before falling, and “showed a sharp increase to the end of 2020 reached” makes the relationship between the rise and final figure difficult to follow. Use clearer sequencing and reference points, such as “by 2000” and “thereafter,” to make progression more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “sharp decline,” “considerable increase,” “levelled off,” and “employment opportunities,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There are also attempts at less common phrasing, but some choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. “Healthcare department” and “agriculture department” suggest organisations rather than economic sectors, while “number of jobs vacancies” is an awkward combination. Spelling slips such as “differnet,” “maufacturing,” “vancancies,” and “milllion” also reduce accuracy. Prefer precise, natural collocations such as “the healthcare sector,” “employment in agriculture,” and “the number of jobs,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while” and “with,” and most of the intended meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors occur in sentence construction and verb patterns. For example, “manufacturing sector accounted the highest figure” needs an article and the preposition “for,” while “after a slight decline reached 3 million” lacks a clear subject. The final sentence, “showed a sharp increase to the end of 2020 reached 15 million,” also needs a clearer clause structure, such as “rose sharply, reaching 15 million by 2020.” Review articles, prepositions, and the construction of sentences that combine a trend with its final value; these changes would improve accuracy without sacrificing complexity.

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