Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrate the oveall number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the US, since 1960 to 2020.

On the top of the list Manufacturing holds the biggest number of jobs nearly arround 20 million, It shows significant growth from 15 million to 20 milllion since 1960 to 1980, moreover it sharply declined by 2000 to 2020, likewise Retail shows a significant surged in the jobs since 1960 to 2000, furthermore it remain constant till 2020. On the contrast, Agriculture sharply declined by the jobs, it falls by 1980, as well as it remail constant till 2000, moreover a significant declined by 2020. On the other hand, the healthcare growth was significant till 1980, additionally it sharply surged in the number of jobs by 2020, furthermore it holds nearly 15 million job in the sector. Overall Manufacturing remains on the biggest position, whereas Agriculture is smallest, apart from this, the healthcare hold the biggest growth in four sectors of the economy in the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before falling, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture declines. The overview also recognises agriculture as the smallest sector and healthcare as having the strongest growth. However, some key comparisons and figures are unclear or inaccurate. Manufacturing is not the largest throughout: it peaks at about 20 million in 1980, then falls to 13 million by 2020, when retail and healthcare are both around 16 million. The claim that manufacturing “remains on the biggest position” therefore misrepresents the final comparison. Healthcare reaches about 16 million, not nearly 15 million, and its growth continues well beyond 1980. Include the endpoint values and clarify which sectors lead at different stages to make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response groups the four sectors into a broadly understandable sequence, and the final sentence attempts to provide an overview. However, the organisation is compressed into one paragraph, with no clear separation between the overview and the detailed trends. Progression is also weakened by repeated connectors such as “moreover,” “furthermore,” and “additionally,” which often join ideas mechanically rather than show their relationship. For example, the manufacturing and retail trends are run together in a long sentence, making comparisons harder to follow. Use a short overview paragraph followed by a paragraph comparing the sectors, and choose linking expressions only where they clarify contrast or sequence. Clearer sentence boundaries and references would make the information easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of trend vocabulary, including “significant growth,” “sharply declined,” and “surged,” and the reader can generally identify the intended direction of change. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive: “significant surged,” “declined by the jobs,” and “biggest position” are not natural ways to describe the data. Spelling errors such as “oveall,” “arround,” “milllion,” and “remail” also reduce control. Some descriptions are too general, particularly “growth was significant,” when a clear comparison or endpoint would be more informative. Build accuracy with standard chart language such as “rose to,” “fell to,” “remained stable,” and “the highest number of jobs,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You make attempts to combine ideas using subordinate clauses and contrast, but many sentences contain frequent errors in agreement, tense, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “The graph illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, while “it remain constant” and “the healthcare hold” require a past-tense verb form. The opening phrase “since 1960 to 2020” also uses an incorrect time construction. Several clauses are joined with commas, creating run-on sentences, as in the long sentence beginning “On the top of the list.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build shorter sentences first, then combine them with correctly punctuated contrast or time clauses.

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