Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that manufacturing had the highest number of jobs in the begin, while healthcare and retail showed an increase over the period. Agriculture experinced a sharply fall. Retail and healthcare had become the leader overall the period.

Looking at the detail, In 1960, manufacturing had around 15 million jobs.This figure increased to 20 million in 1980, before falling to around 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Retail started at about 6 million jobs in 1960. It then rose to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000. In 2020, the figure had reached nearly 16 million.

Turning to the remaining category, agriculture had about 6 million jobs in 1960. However, the number decreased to around 3 million in 1980 and remained the same in 2000. In 2020, it fell ariund 2 million. On the other hand, healthcare rise overall the period. It started around 3 million and reached around 12million in 2000. At the end of the period it reached around 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and report the main movements, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and subsequent decline, and agriculture’s overall fall. The overview also identifies the broad growth in retail and healthcare. However, some key comparisons are unclear or inaccurate: saying retail and healthcare “had become the leader” does not explain that both finish at about 16 million, jointly highest, while manufacturing ends lower at 13 million. Healthcare is also reported as starting at around 3 million and reaching 12 million in 2000; the chart shows approximately 2 million initially and 11 million in 2000. Develop the overview with the final ranking and check these figures to make the summary more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs grouping manufacturing with retail and agriculture with healthcare. This makes the information easy to follow, and transitions such as “Looking at the detail” and “Turning to the remaining category” help signal progression. Some cohesion is less controlled, however. The overview’s “Retail and healthcare had become the leader overall the period” is unclear, and “On the other hand” does not express a strong contrast between the two rising healthcare figures and the preceding agriculture trend as precisely as it could. Use clearer comparisons and link each trend directly to its relevant time points; this would make the progression more natural and less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a suitable range of task vocabulary, including “increased,” “falling,” “decreased,” “remained,” and “reached,” and the sector names are handled clearly. Some less natural word choices and collocations reduce precision: “had become the leader” is awkward for describing the joint highest figures, while “a sharply fall” and “rise overall” show inaccurate word forms or combinations. There are also spelling slips in “experinced” and “ariund,” and “in the begin” is not idiomatic. These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main trends, but careful proofreading and more precise trend language would strengthen the report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “before” and “while,” and most of the numerical descriptions remain understandable. Some grammatical errors are present, particularly in verb forms and sentence boundaries. For example, “healthcare rise overall the period” needs a past-tense verb and a complete time expression, while “agriculture experinced a sharply fall” contains an incorrect adjective form. There are also punctuation and spacing issues, such as “jobs.This” and “12million,” and the capital letter in “In” after a comma is unnecessary. Review past-tense consistency and proofread sentence punctuation; these changes would improve accuracy while preserving your clear basic structure.

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