Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph provide information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US in year between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that jobs in manufacturing was the highest in this graph and agriculture was the lowest in this period. Whereas, reatail and healthcare was the second highest in this period.
Looking at the the details, in 1960, manufactuning started at 15 million and in 1980 rose the peak of 20 million. Additionally, manufacturing saw a notable decline in year 2020 at around 13 million. While retail begain with 6 million jobs in year 1960 and slightly increaed the peak of 16 million in 2020.
Turning to the main data, agriculture was 6 million in 1960 and slightly dcreased at 4 million in 1980. However, in 2020 the data for agriculture was around 3 million. Moreover, healthcare was the lowest in 1960 at 3 million, but highly increased at the peak of 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify the overall contrast between manufacturing and agriculture and report several key figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the rise of retail to 16 million by 2020. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing was highest only until retail and healthcare reached about 16 million in 2020, so it was not the highest throughout the period. Some details are also misreported: agriculture was about 3 million in 1980 and 2 million in 2020, while healthcare began at about 2 million, not 3 million. The response is 148 words, below the required 150. Develop a more precise overview and check each figure against the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. The grouping of manufacturing and retail before agriculture and healthcare gives the reader a basic route through the data. However, progression is weakened by repetitive and sometimes awkward transitions such as “Looking at the the details” and “Turning to the main data.” “Whereas” is used as a sentence fragment after the overview, and “While” similarly introduces an incomplete sentence before the retail trend. These links do not clearly show how the information relates. Use complete sentences and organise the details by meaningful comparisons—for example, the declining sectors versus those that grew—to make the progression clearer and less mechanical.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “peak,” “decline,” “increased” and “million,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “reatail,” “manufactuning,” “begain,” “increaed” and “dcreased.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “rose the peak” and “highly increased at the peak.” Choose accurate trend collocations and vary the language used to describe change. For example, say that manufacturing “peaked at 20 million” and then “fell to 13 million,” while healthcare “rose steadily” to 16 million. Careful proofreading would also remove spelling errors that distract from the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including clauses beginning with “but” and “while,” and the intended meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors are frequent, and some attempted complex sentences are incomplete. For example, “Whereas, retail and healthcare was the second highest” is a fragment, while “While retail began…” is not joined to a main clause. Subject–verb agreement is also inconsistent: “The line graph provide” should be “provides,” and “manufacturing was” should be “manufacturing jobs were.” Articles and phrasing need attention in “in year 2020” and “rose the peak.” Practise complete comparisons and check agreement, tense and sentence boundaries before submitting.
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