Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares the information about amount of jobs in four different sector in the United States including: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare between 1960 and 2020. The unit is measured in millions.

Overall, the number of jobs in the Manufacturing and Agricultural section began at a higher trend than it ended over the eighty years period. While the jobs in the Retail and Healthcare section experienced significant growth over the years, while the Agricultural sector had lowest amount of jobs in 2020, the Retail and Healthcare sector had highest amount of jobs in the same year.

In 1960, there was 15 millions jobs in the manufacturing sector, which increased over the next twenty years by an additional 5 millions jobs in the sector. The amount of jobs subsequently experience a downward tread over the next forty years. Similarly The amount of jobs in the Agricultural sector began at slightly above 5 million jobs, which steadily decline over the years.

The Retail and Healthcare sector experienced a significant upward trend over the years beginning at less than 5 million and slightly above 5 million jobs in 1960 to above 15 million jobs in 2020 their respective sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the four sectors, the period and the unit, and your overview captures the broad contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. You also correctly note that agriculture is lowest in 2020 and retail and healthcare are highest. These are relevant main features. However, some key comparisons are not fully reported: healthcare rises from about 2 million to 16 million, matching retail at the end, while retail grows from about 6 million; these starting values are described imprecisely as “less than 5” and “slightly above 5.” The manufacturing peak at 20 million in 1980 and the later values are also omitted. More precise figures and a clearer account of the four trajectories would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare. This gives the reader a coherent overall arrangement. The overview also helps establish the main contrasts before the figures are discussed. However, progression within sentences is sometimes weakened by faulty or repetitive linking. In the overview, “While” is used twice, and the second clause beginning “while the Agricultural sector…” does not connect smoothly to the first. The final paragraph combines two sectors and their starting and ending figures in one long sentence, making the comparisons harder to follow. Use separate, clearly ordered comparisons and ensure each linking word expresses the intended relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “downward,” “steadily decline” and “significant upward trend,” and the sector names are appropriate. This gives you enough range to communicate the main patterns. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive: “amount of jobs” is less natural than “number of jobs,” “higher trend” does not clearly describe a starting level, and “downward tread” appears to be a misspelling of “downward trend.” “Agricultural section” and “sector” are also used inconsistently. Aim for precise chart language such as “employment,” “rose to a peak,” and “fell gradually,” and avoid repeating “amount of jobs.” These improvements would make the description more natural and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including relative clauses such as “which increased over the next twenty years” and contrast structures with “While.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “there was 15 millions jobs” has a subject–verb and plural error; “the amount … subsequently experience” uses the wrong verb form; and “which steadily decline” needs past tense agreement. The overview’s two “while” clauses also create an incomplete or awkward sentence structure. Check singular/plural agreement, past-tense consistency and sentence boundaries, especially when combining comparisons. More consistently accurate control of these patterns would strengthen the response.

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