Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the employment rate in four sectors of economy in the USA -Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare-recorded in millions from years 1960 till 2020.

Overall, there is a rise in employment rate of manufacturing first followed by a decline. Conversely,Agriculture initially showed decline in job vaccancies which than plummeted over 2 decades and eventually declined by a slight margin in last 2 decades. Whereas, Retail and Healthcare has shown a steady rise in employement over the years.

Manufacturing recorded employement peak in 1980 which is estimated around 20 millions jobs and on the other hand agriculture hits its lowest with approximately 3 millions job in the same year.Healthcare was the least contributing to US economy in 1960 but became highest along side Retail in 2020.

In conclusion,as advancement and new innovations continues, US economy has benefited more from healthcare and retail rather than manufacturing and agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before falling, agriculture declines, and retail and healthcare grow. You also include useful comparisons, such as manufacturing reaching about 20 million jobs in 1980 and healthcare being among the largest sectors by 2020. However, the overview is not fully accurate: agriculture falls from 6 million to 3 million by 1980, remains level in 2000, then slips to 2 million; it does not “plummet over 2 decades” and then decline only slightly. The final claim about economic advancement and innovation is speculative and not shown by the graph. The response is also one word below the required minimum. Develop the key trends with accurate figures and avoid unsupported explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, a paragraph with selected figures, and a concluding statement. The main trends are generally grouped sensibly, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Conversely,” and “In conclusion” help signal stages in the response. However, some connections are awkward or unclear. The overview combines several trends in a long sentence, and “Whereas” begins a fragment rather than a complete contrast. The conclusion introduces a new explanation instead of summarising the data. Improve progression by separating the overview into clear comparisons and using cohesive devices more naturally; for example, group manufacturing and agriculture separately from the two rising sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “rise,” “decline,” “steady rise,” and “peak,” and the sector names are clear. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unsuitable for this chart. “Employment rate” suggests a proportion rather than a number of jobs, while “job vacancies” does not mean jobs held. “Hits its lowest” is also less appropriate than a neutral description of the figure. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “vaccancies” and “employement,” and “millions jobs” is not a natural phrase. These issues do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision. Use standard chart language and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of sentence forms, including contrasts introduced by “Conversely” and “on the other hand,” and most of the intended meaning can be understood. However, some sentence structures are faulty or incomplete. “Whereas, Retail and Healthcare has shown…” is a fragment, and the plural subject requires “have,” not “has.” In “which than plummeted,” the relative clause is unclear and the tense sequence is not controlled. There are also errors in articles, plurals, and punctuation, such as “in same year” and “20 millions jobs.” Aim for complete sentences with consistent past-tense reporting, and proofread agreement and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these structures would make the comparisons easier to follow.

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