Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The provided graph chart illustrates the information about employment in four different departments: manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in America over the period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the highest number of employees were in manufacturing which begins to decline in 1980.The retail side and healthcare has improved the employment throughout the year where as agriculture department declined gradually.

In the retail and medical department,significant increament can be seen.The number of jobs in healthcare side rose dramatically by six millon and almost same trend can also be seen in healthcare in the same it aslo rose by 5 million but after this huge increase the retail department plateaued till 2020. Healthcare went upward by same rate as in previous year by six million.

The number of employment in agriculture department increased by five million in the year from 1960 to 1980 but after that its going downward till 2020.whereas agriculture department decreased by approximately 3 million in the first two decades than it remained constant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and give a broad overview that manufacturing was initially the largest while retail and healthcare rose and agriculture declined. However, the account only partially reports the main features, and several descriptions are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing peaked at about 20 million in 1980, then fell; your overview says it “begins to decline in 1980,” which obscures that peak. The retail and healthcare figures are repeatedly confused: healthcare rose by about six million from 1980 to 2000, while retail rose by five million over that period, not the other way around. Agriculture did not increase by five million; it fell from about six to three million. Select the key trends accurately and compare the sectors across the full period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, an overview and a further paragraph, so there is some basic organisation. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the body shifts between sectors without a clear sequence, and the same trends are repeated or contradicted. For example, the retail and healthcare discussion says “the retail department plateaued” and then immediately describes healthcare rising, while the final sentence returns to agriculture after it has already been discussed. Linking expressions such as “whereas” and “after that” are attempted, but their references are not always clear. Organise the details by sector or by period, and use one clear comparison at a time so the reader can track each trend.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “employment,” “declined,” “plateaued” and “dramatically,” showing an attempt to describe changes rather than simply list figures. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “retail side,” “medical department” and “number of employment.” Spelling errors—including “increament,” “millon” and “aslo”—are noticeable and reduce precision. Some terms are also repeated, particularly “department,” and “improved the employment” does not naturally describe a rise in job numbers. Use standard sector names consistently and choose precise verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” “peaked” and “remained stable” to report the data clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences with contrast, for example using “whereas” and “after that.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some relationships difficult to understand. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “the retail side and healthcare has improved,” and the overview has a tense and sentence-boundary problem in “manufacturing which begins to decline in 1980.” Several sentences run together or lack appropriate punctuation, including the final agriculture comparison. Articles, verb forms and sentence construction also need attention. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related trends with accurate clauses and punctuation.

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