Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

the graph provides us information about the number of jobs in 4 sectors of the us economy between 1960 and 2020.

In 1960 there were 15 million jobs in the manufacturing sector, highest in that year and proceded to peak in 1980 at 20 million but then we start to see a steady decline. In 2020 there were about 13 million jobs in the manufacturing sector.

In contrast, we see a rise in the number of jobs retail and the healthcare sectors. There were about 6 million jobs in the retail sector in 1960, which gradually rose to 10 million jobs in 1980, 15 million in 2000 and started to stabalize in 2020 at around 16 million, crossing the manufacturing sector. We see the same pattern in the health care sector as well which started off with the lowest in 1960 at around 2 million jobs but then matched the number of jobs in 2020 with the Retail sector.

Agriculture Started with around 6 million jobs in 1960 but it steadily declined to around 3 million jobs in 1980 which then started to stablize at around 2 million jobs in 2020, the lowest in the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main movements and include relevant figures: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture declines to the lowest level. The comparison that retail and healthcare reach similar totals by 2020 is also useful. However, the overview is not clearly separated or fully developed, and some details are inaccurate or imprecise. Healthcare does not match retail in 2020 exactly: both are approximately 16 million, but this should be stated as an approximate tie rather than a general pattern. Agriculture is described as stabilising at around 2 million, although it is about 3 million in 2000 before falling to 2 million. A clearer overview and more precise reporting of these stages would strengthen the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it first describes manufacturing, then groups the rising retail and healthcare sectors, and finishes with agriculture. This makes the main trends reasonably easy to follow. You also use contrast and sequencing phrases such as “In contrast,” “but then,” and “which gradually rose.” However, the opening is only an introduction, and there is no distinct overview that summarises the most important comparisons before the details. Some links are awkward or unclear, particularly “We see the same pattern in the health care sector as well,” since healthcare starts much lower and rises more sharply than retail. Organising the response into a clear introduction, overview, and detail paragraphs, with more precise references between sentences, would improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “peak,” “steady decline,” “gradually rose,” “stabilize,” and “declined.” These choices help communicate the broad movements, and the meaning is generally clear. Some wording is repetitive or imprecise, however: “number of jobs” appears frequently, and “we see” is conversational rather than suitably objective for an academic report. There are also spelling errors in “proceded,” “stabalize,” and “stablize,” alongside inconsistent spelling of “healthcare.” Aim for more precise trend language and consistent spelling. For example, distinguish a rise that continues from one that levels off, and use neutral reporting phrases rather than addressing the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including relative clauses such as “which gradually rose to 10 million” and contrastive structures with “but.” Most of the trends remain understandable, and errors do not generally prevent communication. Some sentences, however, are incomplete or awkwardly joined. “In 1960 there were 15 million jobs …, highest in that year and proceded to peak…” lacks a clear grammatical subject for “proceeded,” while “Agriculture Started…” has an unnecessary capital letter after the sentence begins. The phrase “which started off with the lowest in 1960” also has an unclear grammatical construction. Use complete clauses with explicit subjects, and check sentence boundaries, articles, and punctuation to make the complex sentences more controlled.

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