Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph displays the number of jobs in 4 economical sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

overall , the number of jobs among 4 sectors show gradual distribution with healthcare and retail started from the lowest and end up accounting the highest . Whereas, Manufacturing sector showed the significant dipped while agricultural site steadily decreased overtime.

To begin with, in 1960, healthcare and retail sector present the lowest number of jobs below of 3 millions and above 5 millions which gradually raised around 5 and 10 millions in 1980 to above 10 to 15 millions in 2000 before hike to converge around 16 millions in 2020 , both sectors end up accounting the highest number among four.

Turning to , Manufacturing and agriculture sites showing the gradual decline throughout the period. Manufacturing with 15 millions in 1960 significantly surged to 20 millions in 1980 , whereas retail presents the opposite from 6 millions in 1960 to dip at 4 millions in 1980. Manufacturing decline from 17 in 2000 to 13 millions in 2020 and retail remains slightly steady around 4 millions during last 2 decades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad pattern that healthcare and retail rise while agriculture declines, and you include several relevant figures. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing rises to a peak in 1980 before falling, rather than simply showing a “significant dipped,” and healthcare and retail do not both start among the lowest in the same way—healthcare begins at about 2 million, while retail is around 6 million. The later account also misreports agriculture and retail: agriculture falls to about 2 million by 2020, whereas retail rises to about 16 million, not remaining near 4 million. These inaccuracies leave important trends unclear. Select the main comparisons more carefully and check each figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the rising and declining sectors. This gives the reader a general route through the information. However, progression is weakened when the final paragraph shifts between manufacturing, agriculture and retail, and its claims about retail conflict with the earlier account. Connectors such as “To begin with” and “Turning to” help signal sections, but “Whereas” is awkwardly attached to the overview, and “Turning to” is followed by a comma. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining or fluctuating sectors together, then describing each consistently, would make the comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “gradually raised,” “surged,” “decline,” and “converge,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “economical sectors” should refer to economic sectors, “agricultural site” is not an appropriate label for the sector, and “significant dipped” does not express the manufacturing trend clearly. “Hike” is also informal in this context, while “accounting the highest” is an awkward collocation. Aim for precise, conventional reporting language such as “increased,” “fell,” “reached a peak,” and “stood at.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons with “whereas” and time clauses such as “before hike to converge.” However, some errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction make parts of the report difficult to interpret. For example, “the number of jobs … show” needs subject–verb agreement, and “healthcare and retail sector present” needs a plural subject and a suitable verb form. The overview also contains a sentence fragment beginning “Whereas,” and the long sentence starting “in 1960” lacks clear grammatical control. Use complete sentences, check singular and plural subjects, and separate long descriptions into shorter clauses with consistent tense.

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