Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrated the information about the number of jobs in four sectors in the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, there are substancial amount of dramatic changes in occupation from 1960 to 2020. It includes manufacturing, retails, agriculture and healthcare.

In 1960, the line graph indicating healthcare shows slight increase from 2 million to 5 million. In between 1980 to 2000 it has been rose up to 11 million and then in 2022 it illustrates 16 million jobs.

In agriculture, the bar graph dropped down in 1980 from 6 million. In between 1980 and 2000 it remainds unchanged but in 2022 it has been very slightly decreased.

Furthermore, manufacturing jobs has been quite popular in 1960. In 1980 it is expanded to about 20 million jobs but in 2000 it has been dropped to 17 million which is further decreased to 13 million in 2022.

The retail is rapidly increased between 1960 to 2000 such as from 6 million to 15 million and then it rarely increased in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and report several key movements, including manufacturing peaking at about 20 million in 1980 and then declining, and healthcare rising to 16 million. However, the overview is vague: “dramatic changes” does not clearly summarise the main contrasts, such as agriculture being the smallest sector throughout and retail and healthcare becoming the largest by 2020. There are also factual and reporting problems: the chart ends in 2020, not 2022, and the healthcare sentence incorrectly describes a rise from 2 to 5 million as occurring in 1960; those are the 1960 and 1980 figures. Agriculture’s final value is about 2 million. More accurate, clearly selected comparisons would make the response more complete and developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to descriptions of individual sectors. This makes the information reasonably easy to locate. However, the progression is limited because the body largely lists sectors one by one rather than grouping related trends or comparing them. Linking phrases such as “Furthermore” and “In between” are repeated or used awkwardly, and the overview does not guide the reader toward the most important comparisons. The final retail point is also left without a clear comparison to healthcare, which reaches the same approximate level in 2020. Organise the body around contrasting patterns—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—and use precise links between dates and figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “dropped,” “unchanged,” and “decreased,” and the sector names are generally clear. There is some variety, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph report: “dramatic changes in occupation,” “the bar graph” for a line graph, and “rarely increased” do not express the intended meaning precisely. Spelling and word-form errors such as “substancial” and “remainds” also reduce control. Aim for accurate, conventional collocations and avoid adding emphasis that the data does not support. For example, “rose steadily” or “increased slightly” would describe the trends more naturally than the current phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a mixture of simple and more extended sentences, but control is inconsistent and errors occur frequently enough to make some statements difficult to interpret. Examples include “there are substancial amount,” “the line graph indicating healthcare shows,” “it has been rose up,” and “manufacturing jobs has been.” These show problems with agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. Tense and time references are also unclear in phrases such as “In between 1980 to 2000” and “in 2022.” Use past simple for the historical data, check subject–verb agreement, and build sentences with a clear subject and verb. More accurate basic structures would improve clarity before adding complexity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.