Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates changes in the number of jobs, measured in millions, across four sectors of the USA economy sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare increased steadily throughout the period, whereas agriculture experienced a gradual decline. Manufacturing followed a different pattern, rising to a peak in 1980, before falling steadily. By 2020, retail and healthcare had became the two largest sources of employment.

By contrast, retail employment increased steadily, rising from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2020. At the end of the period, it reached 16 million. Healthcare employment experienced an even more dramatic rise, rising from just 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980 and 11 million in 2020. At the end of the period, it reached 16 million. Retail and manufacturing becaming largest sources of employment in the USA.

It can be seen that manufacturing followed a different pattern, Manufacturing rising from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980 before falling sharply to 13 million in 2020. Agriculture experienced an overall decline. its employment figure fell by half, remained anchanged in 2020, and then declined in the end of period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main overall patterns: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks in 1980 before falling. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 to 20 million and healthcare’s increase from 2 to 5 million by 1980. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate. Retail reaches 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, but the account gives these values in the wrong order. The statement that “Retail and manufacturing” were the largest sources in the USA is incorrect for 2020; healthcare also stood at 16 million. Agriculture’s description is difficult to interpret and omits its approximate values. More precise comparisons and a clearer account of the final figures would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the rising sectors and the declining sectors. This gives the reader a broad route through the information. However, progression is weakened by repetition: the overview says retail and healthcare become the largest sources, and this point is repeated later, while the final paragraph repeats the manufacturing pattern already mentioned. Some links between details are also unclear, particularly “At the end of the period” after the 2020 figures have already been given, and the agriculture sentence sequence is hard to follow. Organise the body by contrasting related trends and avoid repeating the same endpoint; use clear references to connect each figure to its year.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “employment,” “experienced an overall decline,” “peak,” and “dramatic rise.” These choices help describe trends and comparisons, and the meaning is generally understandable. There are, however, several inaccurate word forms or collocations, such as “had became,” “becaming largest sources,” and “remained anchanged.” The phrase “economy sectors” is also awkward, and “falling sharply” may overstate the manufacturing decline. Repeated use of “rising” and “At the end of the period” limits variety. Aim for accurate trend language and natural collocations, for example “the two largest employment sectors” and “remained stable.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex structures, including the overview contrast “whereas agriculture experienced a gradual decline” and the manufacturing clause beginning “rising from 15 million … before falling.” Most of the main trends remain understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless affect accuracy: “had became” uses the wrong verb form, and “Retail and manufacturing becaming largest sources” has problems with the verb form and missing article. The final agriculture description contains a sentence boundary error (“decline. its employment figure”) and unclear tense and clause structure. There is also an unnecessary repeated subject in “Manufacturing rising.” Check past-tense forms, articles, and sentence boundaries, and make sure each sentence has a complete, clearly structured clause.

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