Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph explains the employment rate in four different economical domains of the United States from 1960 till 2020.

All over, manufacturing had high demand since the early ages and had the highest number of jobs during the first forty years, after which retail and healthcare took over that had low job opportunities initially. However, agriculture was less focused than other sectors due to which it had lesser jobs that kept on reducing.

During the 1960s, the manufcaturing sector had 15 millions career opportunities that touched the highest benchmark of 20 millions jobs in 1980 and later a steady downfall was noted during the next 40 years but it remained one of the highest employment sectors during the 2020 with more than 10 millions jobs. The retail and the healthcare sectors grew parallel to eachother for forty years from 1960, healthcare had less than 3 millions jobs while retail had nearly 6 millions jobs that were later changed as healthcare had more than 10 millions career opportunities and retail had 15 millions occupations in 2000 leading to the highest employement in 2020 with both the sectors having almost 16 millions jobs.

In contrast, agriculture had the same number of hirings as retail in the 1960 that was greater than healthcare but after every 20 years of period a reduction in employment rate was recorded resulting in having the lowest number of job opportunities in 2020 that were not even half a million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response identifies the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls to the lowest level. It also supports these points with several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare above 10 million in 2000. This gives the report a clear overview and addresses the key features. However, some comparisons are imprecise or inaccurate: retail and healthcare do not both reach almost 16 million in 2020—retail is about 16 million and healthcare is also about 16 million, so this is broadly correct, but the claim that agriculture falls to less than half a million is not supported; it is about 2 million. The explanation that agriculture was “less focused” also adds an unsupported cause. More precise reporting would strengthen an otherwise well-developed summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised into an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs, and the progression from the broad trends to sector-specific figures is generally clear. Linking expressions such as “However” and “In contrast” help signal comparisons. This coherent structure meets the lower-band expectations and shows some flexibility, but cohesion is not consistently smooth. The long third paragraph combines manufacturing, retail, and healthcare in a crowded sentence, making the sequence of changes harder to follow. Phrases such as “after every 20 years of period” and “leading to the highest employment” also make relationships between points less clear. Separate the sector descriptions into shorter, more focused sentences and use references such as “this figure” only when their meaning is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

There is enough vocabulary to describe the main trends, including “steady downfall,” “grew parallel,” and “reduction in employment.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision and sometimes makes the report sound less like a data summary. For example, “employment rate” does not describe the number of jobs shown, while “career opportunities,” “occupations,” and “hirings” are not suitable substitutes for job totals. “Economical domains” and “highest benchmark” are also awkward in this context. Spelling errors such as “manufcaturing,” “eachother,” and “employement” further weaken control. Aim for a smaller set of accurate terms—such as “sector,” “number of jobs,” “rose,” and “fell”—rather than varying wording at the expense of precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response attempts a mix of simple and complex structures, including clauses with “after which” and “while,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, but they rarely prevent the reader from following the trends. For instance, “manufacturing sector had 15 millions” has an article and plural-form problem, while “the retail and the healthcare sectors grew parallel” needs a grammatical construction such as “grew in parallel.” The sentence beginning “the retail and the healthcare sectors grew parallel to eachother for forty years” also shifts awkwardly into “healthcare had less than 3 millions jobs,” creating a faulty connection between clauses. Check articles, singular/plural forms, and sentence boundaries, especially when combining several comparisons.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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