Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Number of jobs in Us in four sectors:

1960:2020;

Manufacturing jobs is 15 milions in 1960 and it is its maximum value twinty millions in ninity eigty.And then its start to decreasing in to thousand twinty it is its minimum value.Retail has five milions jobs in ninty sixty and then its start to increase repeatedly and ninty eighty it has ten milions jobs at two thousand it has fifteen milions job and now it is increasing.Healthcare has only two to three milions job at the start of ninty sixty but it is gradually increasing in ninth eighty it has five milions jobs at two thousands it has more than ten milions and two thousand twenty it had more than fifteen milions Agriculture has almost six milions jobs at ninty sixty and after this it is to the decreasing point in ninth eighth and two thousand remain two to three milions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and report several broad movements, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, and healthcare rising over time. However, the account is mainly a sequence of figures rather than a clear summary of the most important features, and there is no distinct overview comparing the sectors. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail begins at about 6 million, not five, and agriculture falls to about 2 million by 2020, whereas your final sentence says it remained at two to three million in 2000 without reporting the 2020 endpoint. Manufacturing’s 2020 figure is also not stated. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview of the contrasting trends and accurately compare the leading sectors at the end of the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a broadly understandable order, moving from manufacturing to retail, healthcare and agriculture, and uses time references such as “at the start” and “then” to show change. However, it is presented as one continuous block, with no clear overview or paragraphing to distinguish the main trends from supporting details. Several transitions are awkward or repetitive, and the long run-on sentences make it difficult to see where one point ends and another begins. For example, the retail and healthcare descriptions combine multiple dates without clear sentence boundaries. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview and grouped detail paragraphs, and use clear punctuation and linking phrases to show comparisons between sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “maximum value,” “decreasing,” “increase” and “gradually increasing,” so the reader can generally identify the trends you intend to describe. However, the vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, such as “its start to increase repeatedly,” “decreasing point” and “it is its minimum value.” Spelling errors, including “milions,” “twinty” and “ninity,” also reduce accuracy and make the report less polished. Use a more precise range of trend language and check spelling carefully. For example, describe a figure as “peaked at” or “fell to,” and use “employment” or “the number of jobs” consistently rather than repeating “jobs” in awkward phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to describe changes across several dates and use some connected clauses, but sentence structures are mostly simple or joined into long, poorly controlled sentences. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur repeatedly: “Manufacturing jobs is,” “its start to decreasing,” and “it had more than fifteen” do not form accurate descriptions of the graph. Articles, plurals and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “fifteen milions job” and the missing sentence breaks between dates and trends. These problems sometimes make the timing and meaning difficult to follow. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build shorter, complete sentences, for example: “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then declined to 13 million by 2020.”

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