Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four categories of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, number of jobs in manufacturing industries increased dramatically over a period. employement in health care is surged as it starts only with few people then steadily decreased throughout the years. employement in retail and agriculture experience fluctuation respectively.

To begin with, manufacturing jobs starts with 15 millions employement in 1960 and reached approximately 20 millions in 1980 then suddenly surged around 14 millions in 2020. jobs in retail starts with only 5 million in 1960 then drastically increased above 16 million over a period.

The other two jobs agriculture and health care experienced

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify the chart’s subject and include some relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising from 15 million to 20 million by 1980 and retail increasing from about 5 million. However, the overview substantially misreports the trends: manufacturing did not increase overall, healthcare rose rather than decreased, and retail and agriculture did not both fluctuate. The response also ends before describing agriculture and healthcare, so key comparisons and the main overall pattern are missing. The required minimum of 150 words is not met; the response contains 108 words, with eight words copied from the prompt excluded. To improve, give an accurate overview first, then report the main changes for all four sectors using selected figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and a detail paragraph, and phrases such as “Overall” and “To begin with” signal the stages of the report. However, progression is weak because the overview contains contradictory trend descriptions, and the final paragraph begins “The other two jobs agriculture and health care experienced” but is left unfinished. As a result, the reader cannot follow the comparison through to its conclusion. The detail paragraph also moves from manufacturing to retail without developing a clear grouping or completing the account. Use separate, complete paragraphs and organise the figures by meaningful patterns—for example, declining agriculture versus growing retail and healthcare.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “fluctuation,” and “approximately,” and the sector names make the topic clear. However, several choices are inaccurate or awkward for describing this graph: “surged” is used for manufacturing’s fall after 1980, while “fluctuation” does not accurately describe the steady rise in retail or the overall decline in agriculture. Repetition of “jobs” and “employement” also limits precision, and the spelling of “employment” is incorrect. Build a more precise range for trends, such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “remained stable,” and use “employment” or “the number of jobs” accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes simple sentences and attempts a more developed overview, but grammatical control is inconsistent. Examples include “number of jobs” without an article, “manufacturing jobs starts,” and “retail and agriculture experience,” where subject–verb agreement and tense are faulty. The phrase “health care is surged” also has an incorrect verb construction, and “15 millions” uses the wrong plural form after a number. These errors sometimes make the intended trends harder to interpret, especially in the overview. Use past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, check singular and plural subjects, and write quantities as “15 million jobs.” Complete sentences and a final proofreading pass would improve accuracy.

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