Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line chart illustrates the number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the US from 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing is increased and declined in the next years while, retail and agriculture rose throughout the year.However, healthcare flactuated in the period.

In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing is 15 millions which increased and reached 20 million in 1980, afer it declined in 2020 and the jobs is 13 millions. Moreover, healthcare also shows the downward trend in whole period. In 1960, the total number is 6 million which reduced in 1980 and reached at 4 million the next year it remained stabled and than decresed in 2020 in 3 millions.

However, both retail and agriculture rose. In 1960, retail shows the upwrad trend and the total number of job is 5 million which increased in 1980 with 5 millions and in 2000 it reaced at the 15 million and than flactuated in 2020. While, agriculture climed in 1960 with the number of 5 million to 12 million in 2020. After it peaked in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the chart’s subject and attempts an overview, but the main features are substantially misreported, which limits how fully it addresses the task. Manufacturing rises to 20 million in 1980 and then falls to 13 million by 2020, but the overview says it “increased and declined” without clearly distinguishing this pattern. More seriously, healthcare rises from about 2 to 16 million, yet it is described as declining; agriculture falls from about 6 to 2 million, not climbing to 12 million; and retail rises from about 6 to 16 million, rather than following the figures given. Several values and comparisons are also inaccurate. Focus first on accurately identifying each line’s direction and the key start and end values before adding detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response has an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for manufacturing/healthcare and retail/agriculture. This gives the reader a basic framework. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow because comparisons and time points are not consistently presented in sequence. The overview’s claim that retail and agriculture both rose conflicts with the later account, and repeated transitions such as “Moreover” and “However” do not clarify the relationships between the data. Some sentences also combine several changes without clear links. Group the series by their actual trends, then describe each from 1960 through 2020 in order; use contrast markers only where the figures genuinely contrast.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “increased,” “declined,” “downward trend,” and “peaked,” and it attempts to describe movement over time. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes obscuring the intended trend. For example, “agriculture climbed” contradicts the chart, while “retail shows the upward trend” and “the total number of job” are imprecise. Spelling errors such as “flactuated,” “reaced,” and “decresed” are noticeable. Build a reliable set of trend verbs and use them only when they match the data; also check spelling and common collocations before finishing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, and the basic meaning is often recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. Examples include “manufacturing is increased,” “the number … is 15 millions,” and “the jobs is 13 millions”; these should use appropriate past-tense forms and singular/plural agreement. The opening phrase “from 1960 and 2020” also uses the wrong preposition, and punctuation is missing after “year” in the overview. Longer sentences, such as the healthcare description, become difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear grammatical structure. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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