Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph presents the amount of jobs offered in the four sectors of the US economy between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, jobs in healthcare and retail rose greatly between 1960 to 2020. While, manafacturing kept a steadiness in jobs offered with very little ups and downs.

Initially, in 1960 heathcare industry started with around 2.5 million jobs and from there on had a sharp rise to approximately 16 million jobs by the year 2020. Similarly retail also saw this sharp rise and reached around 16 million jobs by 1960, while offering around 6 million jobs in 1960.

The jobs in agriculture were dimished greatly with time as of 1960 they were at around 6 million but by 1980 they reached around 4 million and stood at that point for around 2 decades till 2020 and then reached their lowest by 2020 of around 2 million jobs offered. However Manafacturing rose initially from 1960 to 1980 to reach 20 million from 15 million but then faced sharp decline till 2020 to reach approximately 13 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad trends in healthcare, retail, agriculture and manufacturing, and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising from 15 to 20 million before falling to 13 million. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 1960, and agriculture falls to about 3 million by 1980, remains there in 2000, then declines to 2 million. The overview also says manufacturing was steady with “very little ups and downs,” which conflicts with its substantial rise and subsequent decline. The main features are present, but these inaccuracies and the limited comparison between sectors leave parts of the summary underdeveloped. Check each endpoint and make the overview reflect the full pattern.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview and paragraphs describing the sector trends. Sequencing is generally understandable, and words such as “Similarly” and “However” help signal relationships. However, progression is weakened by unclear or contradictory phrasing. For example, the retail sentence says it “reached around 16 million jobs by 1960” before stating it had around 6 million in 1960, making the comparison difficult to follow. The agriculture account also says it “stood at that point” and then “reached their lowest,” without clearly distinguishing the 1980–2000 plateau from the later decline. Use clearer time markers and keep each sector’s figures in chronological order.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “sharp rise,” “decline,” “approximately” and “reached,” so the main trends can usually be understood. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “amount of jobs,” “jobs offered,” “kept a steadiness,” and “dimished greatly.” Spelling errors in “manafacturing,” “heathcare” and “dimished” also reduce accuracy. Some repetition of “around” and “jobs” makes the description less precise. Aim for standard chart language such as “number of jobs,” “employment increased,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish a plateau from a rise or fall.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “While” and “However,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. Nevertheless, errors in sentence construction and punctuation sometimes make relationships unclear. “While, manufacturing kept a steadiness…” is an incomplete contrast clause, while “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern. The retail sentence combines conflicting time references, and the agriculture sentence is long and difficult to control, with “they” referring unclearly to jobs or the sector. Use “from 1960 to 2020” or “between 1960 and 2020,” avoid starting a sentence with a dependent “While” clause unless it is completed, and divide long descriptions into shorter, accurately punctuated sentences.

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