Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrate the various number of employmnet in the four sectors of economy in the country US int the year 1960 to 2020 .

one axis is represtenting the job in million while horizontal axis depicts the diffrerent year , and the four different sector are manufacturing , retail, agriculture and healthcare .

the major drastic change is been represtend by manufacturing sector which has shown upward trend till 1960 and after that facing a constant downfall till 2020 , meanwhile there is a significant downward trend till 1980 and after that it is on it's constant pace with minor change , moreover 2 lefterover sector of economy , retail and agriculture are likely to be similar to each other both are demonstarting the upward trend but retail do not have a major change from the year 2000 on the same hand agricululture have constant increase in trend .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the four sectors and attempts to describe changes over time, but the main trends are often misreported, so the task is addressed only minimally. Manufacturing rose from 1960 to 1980, not “till 1960,” before declining. Agriculture fell overall from about 6 million jobs to 2 million; it did not show a “constant increase.” Retail and healthcare both grew substantially, with healthcare rising from about 2 million to 16 million and matching retail by 2020, but this key comparison is not clearly reported. There is also no accurate overview of the contrasting patterns or the leading sectors at the start and end. Focus on the largest changes and state them accurately before adding selected figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: it begins by introducing the graph and its categories, then moves to trends. Linking expressions such as “meanwhile,” “moreover,” and “after that” show an effort to connect information. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, and the progression between sectors is difficult to follow. The sentence beginning “the major drastic change” combines several trends without clearly identifying which figures belong to which sector; “2 leftover sector” also makes the comparison unclear. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and the main details, and organise the details by sector or by contrasting trends. Clearer referencing and fewer chained clauses would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “downward trend,” “sector,” and “million,” and attempts to describe change with phrases such as “constant downfall.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “major drastic change,” “constant pace,” and “constant increase in trend.” Spelling errors such as “employmnet,” “represting,” “diffrerent,” and “agricululture” are noticeable and can make the reader pause. Aim for precise, conventional language for graphs—for example, “rose,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “increased steadily”—and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts longer sentences and uses time clauses, including “after that,” but the range of structures is limited and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “The graph illustrate” and “the major drastic change is been represtend”; the latter also makes the intended meaning difficult to understand. Other problems include “the four different sector are” and the unclear construction “retail do not have a major change.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also weak: most of the response is joined into one extended paragraph, with inconsistent capitalisation and spacing. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then connect them with controlled clauses, ensuring each sentence has a clear subject and verb.

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