Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph ilustrates the economic conditions between the different employment areas in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the graph is showing the information that is divided in the four major sector of jobs such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. However, every line is denoting that how the employment rate in these decades are increasing and decreasing.

Firstly, if we discuss about the retail and healthcare both the sectors are increasing through early 1900s. The retail sector start rising from 5 million to 15 million from 1960 to 2000. But in 2 of the decades like 2000 to 2020 the rise slow down. On the other side, if we talk about the healthcare sector it is rising throughout the year 1960 to 2020.

Secondly, if we start discussing the manufacturing and agriculture. The manufacturing sector have the increase in number of job from [redacted phone] and starts decreasing after that to 2000 and it goes below 15 million in 2020. while if we see the agricultural sector line we can say that major decrease in 1960 to 1980 and slower down after that nect decades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify all four sectors and describe several broad trends, including manufacturing’s rise to 1980 followed by decline and agriculture’s overall fall. However, the overview is vague: “every line” does not simply increase or decrease, and it misses the key comparison that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, while agriculture is the smallest sector. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail begins at about 6 million, not 5, and its growth continues to 16 million in 2020 rather than merely slowing between 2000 and 2020. Healthcare rises throughout, but its substantial growth after 1980 could be specified. Select the main comparisons more precisely and support them with accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a general overview, and two body paragraphs grouping the sectors. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “Firstly” and “Secondly” signal the sequence. However, progression is weakened by a vague overview and by mechanical or awkward transitions, including “if we discuss about” and “On the other side.” The grouping also does not consistently make comparisons between sectors, and the final sentence ends without a clear concluding point. Use paragraphs to compare related trends directly—for example, the steady rise in healthcare against manufacturing’s later decline—and use a smaller range of precise linking phrases so the relationships between ideas are clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “sector,” “rising,” and “decreasing,” so the subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “economic conditions between the different employment areas,” “the rise slow down,” and “major decrease.” Repetition of “sector” and “if we discuss/talk about” also makes the description less precise. Spelling errors such as “ilustrates” and “nect” are noticeable. Aim for accurate chart language and collocations, such as “the number of jobs,” “increased steadily,” “declined sharply,” and “levelled off.” This would make the account clearer and more appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the reader can usually follow the main trends. However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to process. Examples include “the graph is showing the information that is divided in the four major sector” and “it is rising throughout the year 1960 to 2020,” where tense, articles, number agreement, and sentence structure are not controlled. There are also errors in “The manufacturing sector have” and “the rise slow down.” Practise forming concise comparisons with consistent past-tense verbs: “Retail rose from about 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020, while manufacturing peaked in 1980 and then declined.” Check agreement and articles when editing.

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