Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The Line graph illustrates the representation of number of jobs 4 different sectors in the United States of America from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, The Retail sector had a linear rise i when compared to all four industries and Agriculture sector gradualy fell over 60 years.

The sectors which have seen growth are Retail and Healthcare. The retail sector has achieved alost 3 times the growth in 2020 when compared to 1960 and The Healthcare has achieved approximately 8 times the growth from 2 million jobs in 1960 to almost 16 million jobs in 2020.

The sectors which shrinken in growth are The Manufacturing and The Agriculture although The manufacturing sector had biggest growth out of all sectors it gradually came down to approximately 13 millon jobs in 1960's from the peak of 20 million jobs in 1980's and the Agriculture gradually decreased from almost 6 million jobs to 2 million jobs

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad direction of change: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines, and you include useful figures such as healthcare increasing from 2 to 16 million and manufacturing peaking at 20 million. However, the overview is incomplete and partly inaccurate: retail does not rise linearly throughout, since manufacturing is highest in 1980 and retail only overtakes it later. The comparison that retail achieved “almost 3 times the growth” is unclear; its employment level rose from 6 to 16 million, while healthcare rose from 2 to 16 million. The manufacturing account also gives the endpoint as “in 1960’s” rather than 2020. Include a clearer overview of the main ranking changes and report each figure with its correct year.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing rising and declining sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression within the final paragraph is weakened by the long sentence beginning “The sectors which shrinken in growth,” which combines two trends and several comparisons without clear punctuation. The overview also repeats information that is developed immediately afterwards, while the manufacturing and agriculture details are not separated or balanced. Use shorter, clearly organised comparisons, and connect each paragraph’s figures to a specific period. More precise referencing would also help readers follow which sector and year each statement concerns.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “gradual[ly] fell,” “peak,” “growth,” and “decreased,” and the sector names make the topic clear. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “representation of number of jobs,” “linear rise,” “achieved…growth,” and “shrinken in growth.” Spelling errors, including “gradualy,” “alost,” and “millon,” are noticeable and reduce the precision expected in a data summary. Aim for straightforward, accurate language rather than forcing less natural expressions: for example, say that employment “rose steadily” or “declined,” and describe a sector’s “number of jobs” or “employment level.” Check spelling carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer comparative sentences, and the main trends can generally be understood. However, control is uneven in longer structures. For example, “The sectors which have seen growth are Retail and Healthcare” shifts into the present perfect, while the chart describes a completed period; “The manufacturing sector had biggest growth” is missing an article, and the final sentence has unclear time phrasing and punctuation. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “Overall, The Retail sector.” These issues make some relationships between figures and years difficult to follow. Use past-tense forms consistently, check articles and sentence boundaries, and divide the final long sentence into shorter statements.

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